> (The following donated review by Zachary Behrendt was moved by Filmtracks
> to this comment section in February, 2008. It was originally review #2 on
> the Titanic page, referred to most often in this comment section. It was
> also famous for its mentioning in Entertainment Weekly's review of
> Filmtracks in its October 2000 issue)

>

> Titanic: (James Horner) I have publicly expressed my hatred for
> James Horner to a great many people. I don't just 'dislike' him, mind you.
> I HATE him. You know, the kind of hatred that makes you clench your jaw
> and growl. Whether its his disturbingly blatant repetition of cues and
> themes or his rancid attempts at electronics, my hatred for Horner grows
> with every film he scores. And believe me when I say that the day James
> Cameron signed James Horner to score his ridiculously overrated idealistic
> egomaniacal wet dream, commonly referred to as Titanic, was a
> miserable day. A miserable day, indeed.
> When I first popped in the cd, I knew I was in for it. How did I know,
> you ask? Because of the main theme. I swear, every time I hear it I get
> this urge to punch somebody. Bop bop... that's all it is. Bop bop
> friggin' bop, over and over again. After hearing it for the first time I
> said, "Okay, that sucked, but maybe it's a one-time deal, like
> 'Payback Time' from Ottman's The Usual Suspects, only really
> bad." I was young and naive. Foolish, even. Now I don't know if
> that's an electronic choir or not, but if it is, I have one question for
> Mr. Horner: WHY? WHY?!! WWWWHHHHYYYY?!!!! Why in the name of all that is
> good and decent in this world did he have to use the shrillest, most
> irritating synthesized choral effects as the CENTERPIECE of his theme?!!!
> Now I'm not one to talk bad about metal clangs. Metal clangs add a
> twisted, primal, almost unnatural flavor to music. I enjoy David Arnold's
> use of metal clangs, as well as Zimmer's and Debney's. But James Horner
> simply cannot pull off the metal clang. They sucked in Aliens,
> they sucked in Willow, and boy do they suck here. There is
> absolutely no reason for those damned metal clangs in this score. They
> actually detract from the excitement of the action, much like they did in
> 'Escape from the Tavern' in Willow. They're overused, lifeless,
> brainless and pointless.
> And then there's the bagpipes... James Horner just LOOOOOOOOOVES his
> bagpipes, doesn't he? Now they make sense in Braveheart, where the
> entire movie is about the people of and battle for SCOTLAND!!! But they
> do not belong in a movie about a big boat that sinks. The weepy drone of
> those stupid bagpipes makes me sick to my stomach. They exist merely to
> manipulate the emotions of the audience because the horrible dialogue and
> atrocious acting fails to accomplish it. Someone needs to tell Mr. Horner
> that film music is meant to accompany and enhance the emotions of the
> film, not upstage them.
> After about the thirty-minute mark the action picks up, the bagpipes shut
> up, and the metal starts clanging. And we are thrown into the cold, icy
> bitterness that is James Horner action music. Man, do I get excited when
> the orchestra flails about pointlessly from cue to cue, scene to scene.
> When he scores action pieces, Horner becomes like a bad Foley artist,
> crashing and smashing around in hopes that his efforts are at least in
> sync with the action of the film. His hopes generally go unfulfilled.
> Well, when it was all said and done, and all 70-some-odd minutes of pain
> and suffering were finally over, I had an overwhelming desire to smash the
> cd with my forehead. Luckily I resisted, because the disk makes for a
> good coaster, the inserts are fun to tear up and burn, and the jewel case
> can be recycled for storing John Tesh cds. Honestly, am I the only one who
> simply detests this score? Am I missing something? Is there some sort
> of hidden meaning embedded deeply between the bagpipes and bop bops and
> metal clangs? I just don't get how anyone, anywhere, can even come close
> to enjoying this relentlessly repulsive score. It won an Oscar, people.
> How good can it really be? *
>

You sound like a two year old for someone who has grey hair.