If you find discussions about "gender differences" or "kissing to the sounds of film music" offensive, or if your significant other left you recently because you were listening to your newest Hans Zimmer score too loudly on your stereo, hit the back button on your browser immediately. Why? This month, I will offer you my observations on an issue that few have yet to raise in the film music community:

Why are 90% of the film music enthusiasts of this world MALE?

Before I dive into this topic, understand this: I am one the biggest supporters of women's power there is. I'm an extreme liberal and believe that this country (and world) would be a hell of a lot better off with a woman at the presidential helm (although as Robin Williams once said, there would be severe negotiations every 28 days...). So in no way am I degrading women for not sharing my passions. Okay.

From surveys done at this site since 1996, about 9 out of every 10 visitors to Filmtracks is male. Whenever I visit Tower, Best Buy, Future Shop, Hastings, or other big music stores, there are rarely any women in the "Films and Shows" section. Pick up your latest copy of Film Score Monthly and you'll see that the five or six regular writers are all male. In talking to all the webmasters of other film music websites, I noticed that they are all male as well (Ellen Edgerton, founder of the now dismembered filmmusic.com and a woman with very clear and intelligent views on film music, is the exception). Read the FILMUS-L Discussion List or the rec.music.movies newsgroup and you'll notice a predominantly male presence. Even the mail that I get from visitors here at Filmtracks is typically from men.

Personally, I can testify to further these findings. Since starting Filmtracks, I have dated three women. None of them had ever given film music a thought when I met them. When they first asked me what I do in my spare time, I told them that I run a soundtrack site on the web (among other things that I won't mention in this forum). Their reaction: "You do what??" And after dating them for a year or so, they still don't pay it much mind. Granted, after hearing me ramble about soundtracks for that long, they know that I get excited when the name "Music by Jerry Goldsmith" comes on the big screen. This isn't to say that I make the love of film music a requirement in my perfect mate --if I did that, I'd be searching for a very, very long time.

I asked my father about this dilemma. He's been collecting soundtracks since the 1950's. He is one of those worn critics of film music who has seen and listened to every score out there. His response: "Women are too intelligent to get excited about such things." Armed with this knowledge, I asked my mother about it. She, after thirty years of putting a spending cap on my father's soundtrack LP & CD allowance, knows enough about film music to recognize that my father gets excited whenever the name "Music by Elmer Bernstein" comes on the big screen. They have a cat named Elmer, too. My mother walks in the room and my father, who is watching an old film, says to her, "Wait! Listen to how Waxman brings up the strings in this scene!" My mother responds the same way she does when the family is watching a 49ers game-- with complete indifference (although with the Niners games, she explains, she can at least watch Joe Montana's rear end). Sometimes she even sticks out her tongue.

Which brings me back to the issue at hand... what is it about film music that makes it different from every other type of music. Women buy classical, easy listening, country (especially in Montana!), rock, alternative, rap (practically invisible in Montana), and so on... I see women --especially my friends-- buying soundtracks that are song compilations. They'll buy the Romeo and Juliet song compilation without even knowing that the score exists. In fact, I'm sure that this is what the record companies have in mind when they release those compilations that are so troublesome to us score fans.

There are exceptions. Every year or so, there comes a score that sells very well among women. In 1994 it was The Lion King. In 1995, Legends of the Fall. In 1996, Dragonheart, in 1997, Titanic. You don't see women rushing to the stores to purchase Crimson Tide or Mars Attacks!. When I have such things playing on my stereo and my girlfriend walks in, I ask her sometimes what she thinks of it. She looks over with little interest and says, "oh, that's guy music" and then leaves. So what's girl music?

The animation scores (Disney and otherwise) do well with women, but let's pretend for a moment that they don't exist. It's the romantic original scores that women are attracted to. When I saw Titanic a few days ago, there were dozens of women sobbing during the last half hour of the film (I'll admit --it's the closest I came to being teary-eyed in the theatre since Glory). The music fits very romantically with the film. With the vocal, new age approach (and the song at the end), Horner's created a score for a subject matter that women identify with. Dragonheart's "To the Stars" theme also has vocal and electronic aspects. Legends of the Fall is perhaps one of the most romantically grand scores of the 1990's.

Some guys get so excited by huge orchestral/vocal/electronic combo performances that they foam at the mouth. Dinosaurs, submarines, exploding buildings, shit falling from the sky over metropolitan areas --these are scenes with music that guys like to drive around listening to. Why don't women listen to these cues? They don't for the same reason that many men don't sit around sewing clothing for miniature dolls. You can't make out while listening to the Imperial March. Has anyone seriously attempted to cuddle by candlelight with their girlfriend with these types of scores on the stereo in the background? Russia House maybe. Independence Day, no. I had one gentleman e-mail me to say that he and his wife have attempted engaging in sex acts to the music of Danny Elfman. What's wrong with this picture! Film music for the most part is staggered and unpredictable. It doesn't have a steady beat like a collection of songs has! Scores can be romantic for three tracks and then reach a track called "Billy Tears Out Dr. Smith's Intestines" or "The Ship Full of Rich Farts Hits the Iceberg" and the music will become a mess of loud killing noises. Talk about a mood killer. If you really want to disrupt the flow of the things, put Basic Instinct on the stereo and try it out.

Yet even with the aspect of romance accounted for, I cannot understand why more women don't listen to film music. There are hundreds of female Toto fans on this awkward planet and only a few of them know that the group scored Dune. Perhaps it's some sort of conspiracy. In the meantime, women will be forced to tolerate us men who hold film music so close to us. Except for my girlfriend, of course. She walks over, turns off my screen, and says, "To hell with Filmtracks. Those guys can wait." ;-)

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Page created 12/30/97, updated 3/5/00. Version 2.0 (Filmtracks Publishing). Copyright © 1997-2000, Christian Clemmensen. All rights reserved. "Real Audio" logo and .ra are Copyright © 1997, Real Audio (www.realaudio.com). "Academy Awards" and the Oscar statue are ® AMPAS, 1996.