> When your untimely death arrives, don't be caught wishing you had resolved
> your transgressions when you are suddenly standing at the Pearly Gates.
> Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior or be denied the Kingdom of
> God!

> Whether you know it or not, you are a sinner. Perhaps you don't molest
> collies or fondle yourself thirteen times a day, but it's still a proven
> fact that everyone sins. The smallest, most insignificant things:
> Profanity whispered under your breath; Eating the little piece of
> chocolate your mother told you not to; Calling your little brother a
> "f*cking pussy" while making him eat hard dog doo; Silently
> farting in a crowded elevator and giving the old woman next to you a stare
> of accusation; Masturbating with your little sister's Tickle Me Elmo
> doll...

> These add up on God's great score card. Unfortunately, those with high
> scores go to HELL!

> Send your burdens back to Hell where they belong!

Um, ahem, if that's true, then you have sinned for thinking such disgusting thoughts that no one I know commits. Dude, where do you come up with these ideas?