Our Beloved and Dear Lord Satan, forgive our writing to you in this manner. We thank you for your gifts of drought, famine, and Donald J. Trump, and we ask you to bless us going forward by sending many unHoly demons into the toilets of Remote Control Productions at 1547 14th Street, Santa Monica, California, 90404 in the USA.

Help us mastermind this mighty, powerful persecution and destroy the will of Hans Zimmer and the many fake composers who gravitate to his awful music studio for the purpose of generating wretched film scores! Lord Satan, use the glorious majesty of your throne to make their toilets growl with the most hideous of beasts and tentacles! Amen!!

Satan will never answer any of your prayers, despite your adamant sense of Satanism in your religion. Why? Because he's dead. So quit crying down to him; there's no use in it anyway.