> Who is this monster Thaxton? How horrible!

Thaxton deserves, if not his very own soundtrack, at least the immortality of his own opera buffa:

[Opening strands of "Pagliacci"]

Thaxton (stumbling uneasily under the proscenium):

Si puņ? Si puņ? (May I? May I?)
Signori, Signori, (Sirs, Sirs,)
scusatemi (I beg pardon)
se da sol mi presento. (if alone I am here.)
Io sono il Fatto! (I am the fat guy)

Close-up to the audience of two filling the auditorium. Odeus and Potter, deeply moved, wiping tears like summer showers off their cheeks. On cue, Fido leaps onto their laps and starts licking their faces. Panting and sweating, Thaxton trips on a stool and, discomforted, breaks some wind.

Har!