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Comments about the soundtrack for The Mummy Returns (Alan Silvestri)

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NGAS Service Message, Specimen: Ford A. Thaxton
• Posted by: The NGAS Service Announcement Center   <Send E-Mail>
• Date: Friday, January 18, 2002, at 9:54 a.m.
• IP Address:
• In Response to: Who is this FORD A. THAXTON? (MandyC)

(The following is a courtesy provided by The National Grammar and Spelling Service)

The excerpts below have been compiled from Ford A. Thaxton's various attacks against Lukas Kendall of Film Score Monthly. All of these comments were written by Specimen Thaxton over a period of less than twenty four hours. The reader is encouraged to recite each extract out loud to enhance his or her learning experience:

#1. "You are a cowardly little bitter human being who won't even take responibilty for what he posts."

Correction: "Responibilty" should be spelled "responsibility," as in, "Ford Thaxton refuses to accept responsibility for being the asshole he is."

#2. "As to you other comments."

Correction: This is a profound grammatical error. Thaxton's trend of omitting the last letter in key words is truly disturbing.

#3. "No very original."

Correction: See #2

#4. "First off I apologize for the header of this thrend, but I used it to get to bring to your attention the most hateful post I've ever seen posted in this newsgroup by (IMHO) a rather sick and nasty little coward who seems to think wishing someone's death to be 'Amusing'."

Correction: There are three errors in this comment. "Thrend" is properly spelled "thread," as in "the thread was hanging from the tear in the enormous fat man's pants." Secondly, the phrase "used it to get to bring to" is poorly conceived and should be put to death. Finally, "someone's", as it is used in this statement, means "someone is." The phrase "someone is death to be Amusing" is poorly worded.

#5. "Any comment by either that is made by Mr. Kendall or published in his little fanzine is colored by Mr. Kendall's personal hatred of Mr. McNeely and should judged in that context."

Correction: It is difficult to discern what Ford Thaxton meant by this statement, since his grammar is so offensive and awful. The adroitly worded "Any comment by either that is made by..." speaks for itself.

#6. "He also has a habit of retreating to his little website kingdom in order to be protected from this who spot flaws in his "logic"."

Correction: Ford Thaxton chooses his pronoun incorrectly in the above statement. It should read "protected from 'those' who spot flaws..." or "protected from this 'which spots' flaws..."

#7. "And god forbid anyone dares no agree with Prince Kendall."

Correction: See #2 and #3

#8. "Prince Kendall has dished out about ten times as many snide (and very hateful) remarks then I have and I don't recall you speaking up then."

Correction: The word "then" is used improperly and should be replaced with the more accurate "than." Ford Thaxton has terrifically limited knowledge of the tender and complex differences between "then" and "than," and we at the NGSS take offense.

#9. "This coming from the offical FSM apologist."

Correction: "offical" should be spelled "official," as in "Ford Thaxton invited the official to his office for a hearty bowl of chunky soup."

10. "'Hateful' is really be kind."

Correction: This again is a case that can be interpreted in multiple ways thanks to its horrendous grammar. Ford may have meant "Being 'hateful' is really kind," or perhaps "It is unkind to call someone "hateful," or even "I become hateful when I am not satisified with the consistency of my chili."

#11. "I also notice that ist doesn't seem to trouble you that someone posted here that they'd like Mr. McNeely to die."

Correction: "Ist" should be spelled "it," a large and complex word. Note the placement of the letter "s" on the keyboard and its geographical relationship to the letters "i" and "t" before proposing a slip of the hand. Ford Thaxton's use of the word "they'd" in this context is also incorrect based on the original post. He should have used the word "he'd," as in "he'd have called me 'sugar' if I wasn't so damn ugly."

#12. "Unlike you, I stand by my posts and accept responibilty for them."

Correction: Statement #12 should confirm the shocking truth for all those readers who doubt the motives of the NGASS. Not only is "responsibility" spelled incorrectly once again, but in the exact same ways. Please speak the word "responibilty" aloud. It is not comfortable, is it? In fact, you do not even know whether to put the stress the second or fourth syllable, thanks to Ford Thaxton's perversion.

#13. "He's gone on to bigger and better things then your little fanzine."

Correction: Fittingly, lucky #13 is another example of Thaxton's confusion over the word "then." Hey, Ford... in your own language, from all of us here at the NGASS, "Weather you like it or no, you should accept responibilty for you're assinine elementary writing skills, rather then putting off all you anger on the readers of this web site or newgroup."

Addendum Appendix A:
Ford A. Thaxton Language Difficulties, June 26-27, 2001 (Filmtracks ScoreBoard)

#1. "As for my message, it was a private email that supposed to be sent to Christian, filmtracks and filmusc-L are side by side in my address."

Note: Witness one missing "was" and one missing ";" as in the example: "Thaxton 'was' caught screwing the famous oboe';' the trial date is set for Thursday."

#2. "I'll see if I what do?"

Note: This fine sentence is completely unintelligible. When confronted by the subject of his poor language use, Thaxton refused to clarify, confirming that he himself doesn't know what he is saying 64% of the time.

#3. "Just remember My opinion and comments about you wouldn't change if left this mortal plane tomorrow."

Note: One missing "you," one missing comma, and one unnecessarily capitalized "My." In this sentence, Thaxton manages to convey that he would make ill comments about many people in the event of their untimely deaths.

#4. "Richard Cranni, what's your problem?"

Note: As explained above in the primary #2 correction, Specimen Thaxton has difficulties finishing words and proper names. He is so anxious to insult the other party in the conversation that he forgets to finish his individual words.

#5. "Why show respect to man who I didn't respect in the first after he's dead and attacked me for calling him by his real name? "

Note: The "who" is unnecessary, and a careful study has revealed a missing "place" after "first". Thereafter, the sentence is unintelligible.

#6. "Well, he should get degree of from his worshippers, he's dead."

Note: This is a third instance of a completely unintelligible string of sentence fragments from Thaxton within a 24 hour span.

Addendum Appendix B:
Ford A. Thaxton Posting Difficulties, June 26, 2001 (FILMUS-L)

#1. (Private e-mail incorrectly sent to enraged FILMUS-L readers):


I never raised the topic on your board and I'm only responsible for what I post, what anyone else does, you take it up with them and DON'T BLAME ME FOR THE CONDUCT OF OTHERS!

So why don't you go rebuke the ones who posted the crap, I didn't start it on your board and I for the most part let it pass.

Don't you DARE blame me for the conduct of other ADULTS who clearly aren't under my control."

Note: The above tirade is an example of Specimen Thaxton's response to the cold and calculated logic of the Filmtracks Webmaster. Notice Thaxton's ultimate refusal to accept responsibility for any error, including an excess of run-on sentences.

The preceding was a Message from the NGAS Service (Re: F.A. Thaxton)

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