> Who is this monster Thaxton? How horrible!

Our Favorite Thaxton is slowly disappearing. Ford's public insults and tactless comments have dwindled in recent months, even at his favorite haunts, and in the past few weeks have stopped altogether. He has lost nearly every professional associate in the business and the quantity of CDs he produces is fading away. His radio show is refused by all hosts. It seems Ford is gone. A moment of silence is perhaps appropriate.

Ford was Rick James to our collective Charlie Murphy... full-bore obliviousness like his comes along once in a blue moon, and I submit to you that we are poorer for his absence. From his early feuds with J. Michael Straczynski and Varese Sarabande to his recent battles with Lukas Kendall, Christian Clemmensen and the faint remainder of his allies, Ford has left himself no professional place in which to work. Perhaps he is simply taking a sabbatical of sorts, refueling his reserves of misplaced disdain and unintentionally hilarious attempts at derision. Some say that he has become unexpectedly pregnant with a fish-child who he will name Caliban (son of Buford) A. Thaxton. Others say the fish-baby will be named Zebulon. Yet others wish us quiet for fear that he will announce his foul return upon hearing interest in his name.

I can only hope he returns soon. There should always be room on the Internet for the Newmans of the world, if only for our own entertainment. Godspeed, Fordster!