Ladies and gentlemen, Ford Thaxton is a grotesquely fat, grotesquely ugly piece of work. I've seen a photo of his in some film music magazine and let me tell you, Ford ain't no Tom Cruise. He ain't even a cruise missile. Maybe more along the lines of a Pinto station wagon missing its hubcaps and covered with graffiti. At last report, to use Ford's own terminology, he weighed over 300 pounds and even Ford, as stupid as he may be, freely admits this on Usenet as if grotesque obesity is something to be proud of.

Now, I have nothing against large people and I certainly wouldn't make fun of anyone suffering from the condition if they weren't the asshole that is Buford Abbott Thaxton. Ford apparently lives/used to live with something he describes as a "woman" (whether or not she was inflatable remains unknown), and if he somehow is physically able to have sex with this "woman", it proves only that any person, no matter how vile/disgusting/stupid, can get laid.

> Who is this monster Thaxton? How horrible!