Too bad Elisa lived in the 1960s. Today she would not need a mer-man creep to solve her anorgasmia and other sexual dysfunctions. They make great sex robots in Taiwan and Japan now, only $30,000 for fully functioning man with erect penis whenever she wants love and servicing. The robot can even learn sign language and play Alexandre Desplat music out of its hidden breastplate speakers! He could whistle the main theme, like the real Desplat. You can ask the manufacturer to make the head look like Desplat too, including the big sexy nose! No flooding the bathroom needed... your Desplat robot can give you orgasms in the car, the elevator, or even the grocery store!

The only dream better than hearing this beautiful Desplat music from your robot companion is to have that stereo's large, firm penis lodged all the way up to your uterus at the same time! Oh, Elisa, you only needed to be born fifty years later!!