Date: Tue, 21 Mar 2000 Subject: Batman Beyond ---------------------------- The posted review of Batman Beyond is more venomous than any one single episode of the show. This guy is obviously aggravated and insecure in his own existence. I am a musician, my favorite composer is J.S. Bach. So I could agree on the point that some of the guitar and drum parts are typically boring, however they are far from "DEMONIC". Lets face it....if anyone's music could be called "of the devil" then it would be Bach's or even Paganini. And when compared to evening sit com soundtracks Batman Beyond's soundtrack is a very nice change. Social, Political, or Religiously jaded people shouldn't critique art in any form as their opinions are automatically biased!!!! Batman Beyond is a refreshing change from the mindless worlds of most everything on T.V. It challenges the young peoples intellect and encourages them to consider possibilities, here and now as well as in the future. The soundtrack at times really enhances this and at other times could use a little less or more, but even Bach didn't just sit down writing masterpieces at the beginning. I for one can't wait to see how the show and the soundtracks evolve. It would even be nice to be a part of teem. Some constructive criticism instead of vicious slander may be what the teem needs. Remember , a soundtrack is supposed to capture the mood of the moment, not appease jaded listeners. Not all moods or moments are for everyone. Judge the soundtrack of a film by whether or not it captures and enhances the mood!!! NOT by whether or not it's your favorite kind of music!!!!!!!! Idiots!! [Batman Beyond would be more interesting if scored with Bach]

Date: Thu, 13 Apr 2000 Subject: ALIEN ---------------------------- EGGS MAN EAT IEGS 4 IS A NAME ALIEN. THE MAN AND GRIL IS MONSTER TE . [Hey! How many times do I have to tell you? Do NOT let the alien creature attach itself to your face!]

Date: Fri, 21 Apr 2000 Subject: Feedback submission for Filmtracks.com ---------------------------- You filthy, unnatural, sexually aberrant freak. Why are you spreading hairy-faced lies about the Internet? My mother never smiled, and she always practiced good hygene to prevent moldiness. Furthermore, she is a champion film music enthusiast, and she told me to tell you that your so-called reviews are as nauseating as putrescent Limburgher cheese rinds curdling in the gallbladder of a plague-infested rat. They, unlike her, do not have good hygene. So there. [And they wonder why so many people are terrified of meeting their potential mother-in-law?]

Date: Wed, 03 May 2000 Subject: filmtracks is a bunch a crap ---------------------------- first of all i'd like to say that filmtracks.com goes way to far trying to scrutinize, overanalyze, and just basically suck all life out of the music. it's a watered down review site that is destroying the whole fucking scene. you should take off your goddamn sweatters, smash your fucking lunchboxes and stop your crying. everything your trying to do just makes score music more of a corporate fad and a novilltiey for middle class white teenagers looking to reble in style with the rest of their so called friends. so cut the act and get on with your fucking life. [This one was about the review for Babylon 5: Crusade... Sad, really]

Date: Thu, 11 May 2000 Subject: concerned custumer ---------------------------- I rencently purchased the soundtrack of Jurassic Park written by john williams,and I have lost the music sheet to it . Is there any way that you can contact john williams and have him hand copy me a flute music sheet from this piece and email it to me. Thank you for your time, [Yes, and while I'm at it, I'll ask John to go to your home and fix you a gin and tonic]

Date: Sat, 20 May 2000 Subject: Strategic partnership in the adult market ---------------------------- Dear Christian, I am writing to you in regards to establishing a strategic partnership between companies. I am the President of Bosexual.com, which will be a new web site dedicated to the needs of young, sexually active professionals living in the metropolitan Boston area. Our future plans include expansion throughout major cities in the United States. We are in the process of currently implementing the first phase of our business plan, which is providing the general entertainment content of the website, which is in essence similar to information you obtain in a variety of adult magazines. We have an in-house staff of writers and photographers, but have had problems obtaining personnel with experience in the film industry. What we would like to do for the movie and music section of the website is incorporate your soundtrack content into our site. This would give you a broader outreach in terms of viewership in the adult entertainment industry and allow you to market and sell any products or advertisement to a larger audience. For providing you with this opportunity, we would just be looking for good content for our adult viewers interested in the latest movie and music releases. In the next few weeks we will be expanding the site dramatically, and we expect to generate significant interest throughout the Boston area. If you are interested in working together feel free to contact me. You can reach me via e-mail at xxxxxxxx@bosexual.com or by phone at 617.xxx.xxxx. I am looking forward to hearing from you. Please, feel free to ask any questions or make any suggestions. Sincerely, xxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx President Bosexual.com [Damn! "Filmtracks Adult Soundtrack Reviews" does have a certain ring to it]

Date: Wed, 24 May 2000 Subject: Is it true? ---------------------------- some friends and I were talking about people we know in the world and I think I fell onto a wierd coincidence. I've been reading your site (filmtracks.com) for years and I love reading your personal page. I'm also a student of film/video at UC Santa Cruz and had a class or two with Ariel [last name removed]. Is it true that you were partners once? That would be sooo wierd because I feel like I've been faint acquaintances with you and her for years and never knew that there was a connection!! Is it true? I say,, I think you two would have made a very. . . dynamic . . .couple. If it's true, what's the scoop?? [It's funny how some names just won't disappear... Yes, it's true, but we somehow ran afoul of each other a few years ago. The last I heard is that she suspects me to be a scary maniac. :-)]

Date: Thu, 15 Jun 2000 Subject: Eps eppp eppe ppp $! ---------------------------- Sqwatsh sheii de la pump! George s clinton Wild Thing sex good shiney! rpulse you fuop you stupeid fuol nogooder! kick you in cabeza till you fart! [You can kick me in the head all you want, but I doubt it'll make me fart...]

Date: Tue, 27 Jun 2000 Subject: get some taste will ya ---------------------------- god - do u even know what a good score is? why dont YOU write something better you clap-trap no nothing!!! Why dont you remove the pole labled "I NEED TO GET A LIFE" from your ars and listen to the CD a third time, then figure out it is GREAT!!! you made the suggestion of anyone wishing to kill you to say so, well - you just made it onto my people to kill list. YEAH!!!!!!! [I'm always disappointed when they fail to tell me exactly how they're going to kill me]

Date: Thu, 29 Jun 2000 Subject: once again... ---------------------------- sorry i just read the review again, and realised how big of a fuck up you really are! I dont have you any more, just pitty you. Oh - but i'm still gonna kill ya, i wounldn't fall asleep tonight...asshole! C ya soon!!!! [Same guy as above. Same poor English, too]

Date: Sun, 16 Jul 2000 Subject: YOU ---------------------------- YOU ARE NOT A POKEMON. [...and thank goodness for that!]

Date: Mon, 24 Jul 2000 Subject: Starvin' Singer!!! ---------------------------- I need to get noticed. Please. I'll come and fuck you if thats the price! Please check out my, cough! cough! music. Free, gasp, download! I can't hold on much longer....I....I....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!! THUD!!! [She certainly does have a way of getting your attention]

Date: Tue, 25 Jul 2000 Subject: class of your own ---------------------------- two words...YOU SUCK...you have no clue what you are talking about...I have been a soundtrack listener for the past 15 years...you must be on drugs because you don't know what you are talking about...You also deserve to be shot for the stupid cider house rules bullshit...cider house rules is bullshit..and you are bullshit for talking about soundtrack and trying to make your own sense of logic by putting it in the commercial class...gone and fuck you! [My apologies to Ms. Portman for publishing this one]

Date: Fri, 11 Aug 2000 Subject: question ---------------------------- Didn't the person who invented the sombrero realize that it is totally impractical when eating pussy? Please send me your thoughts on that. [My thoughts on that? No need to elaborate on the obvious, fellow]

Date: Wed, 29 Aug 2000 Subject: A serious offer for Christian Clemmensen ---------------------------- I could not help but notice the pictures of yourself and a lovely young woman named Stella on your personal webpage. Please do not take my offer lightly. I will send you $300, in cash, for a clear, 20 minute videotape of you and Stella in sexual intercourse. Tripod cinematography is acceptable, and vaginal penetration is necessary. If you are not interested, please disregard and no further contact will be attempted. [Sorry, mister, but I think that my bare ass would shatter the lens]

Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2000 Subject: about Filmtracks reviews ---------------------------- I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I do not pray for you as other christians do. I demise and pray for your eventual fall in the kingdom of satan, your father. Keep your stupid warped minds off of my God. Your reviews SUCK! I do not even HAVE to show that God is a holy being and does not lay with earthly people to have children. He is unable because of his awesomeness and holiness! Your reviews are definately sick! Jesus was planted there in a holy mary whom was fitted for the situation(loving God), not sexing him! You stupid idiots! I do not even know where your warped minds come up with this crazy feces. Your minds are blinded with feces of the underworld! I as a christian wish you and your ignorant, unethical, weird philosophers of life a terrible fate indeed! P.S. They say where the mind lays is what he thinks of his own self! Weirdos! [What's wrong with these people? Jesus would be embarrassed]

Date: Tue, 03 Oct 2000 Subject: Please Read ---------------------------- My name is xxxxxxxx and I am a member of the Jesus Christians. I'm sorry to bother you. We sent you our newsletter a couple of days ago and you asked to be unsubscribed from it. However, we have reviewed the content of your movie web site and have concluded that we cannot and should not remove your address from our beneficial newsletter list. Have a good day. [That's just plain illegal!]

Date: Thu, 05 Oct 2000 Subject: TV movie on video vhs ---------------------------- Hello, I'm a great fan of the tv movie from stargate, can you help me ? I live in holland and they are not availble in the shops. -- I'm want to buy illegal copies of all the lattest episodes, everything after 3.12 -- If you can tell me the prices you charge. I pay $100 American dollar for each episode. Please, I am big fan. thank you, ["Bad boys, bad boys... Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?"]

Date: Thu, 12 Oct 2000 Subject: Year 2001 is coming soon ---------------------------- Dear Filmtracks.com, It is time to start thinking about year 2001. What we all do when a new year is coming? We buy calendars. The 2001 calendars campaign have already begun. We produce calendars. In fact, we have produced over 3000 calendar items available online, covering a very huge variety of themes - children, autos, pets & animals, architecture, models. We request a business relationship with Filmtracks.com so we can put film music composers pictures on calendars and sell them nationally. We would like to purchase the rights to famous composer pictures and will put your corporate logo on the back of the calendar! No nude photos, please. Thank you. [What? No calendar with pictures of nude composers? Darn!]

Date: Sun, 22 Oct 2000 Subject: i am from colombia ---------------------------- my name is xxxx xxxxxxxxx, Iim a movie producer from Colombia, my fisrt work as a movie producer was ila vendedora de cosarismo, from Hector Ravigia, he is one of fourt or five considerable directors and he done very good whit this movie. I hoop you know about. . at this time, Iim working in a hyphen called iLA CASAi is a original history from colombia and the point of view of the live woman involve whit the drug dealers and what about the real feelings. . for me the sound track of my film is very important because I wanit use that like the first steap to the advertisement . I wanit to be big shit . if you are interested in composing for this pilot projet just answer this mail, excuses plase if I am disrespectful send you this mail but I dream whit make some film as good as no one done in the history of the colombia movie. excuses too for my english Iim working in this to learn it well. [I like the line "I wanit to be big shit." I wonder if that's what he really meant to say...]

Date: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 Subject: Infamous list. ---------------------------- Who the hell do you think you are and what kind of artistical works did you create that allow you to write such non-sense about the artistry and genius of a great composer as Mr Elfman is? Two of his wonderful scores are among the most overrated in the 90's? I think that the only overrated things here are your musical tastes and your intelligence. I don't even tell you goodbye cause I hope never to hear of you again. [Those lists irritated many people]

Date: Sun, 29 Oct 2000 Subject: Hans Zinner ---------------------------- Do you know if and when Hans Zimmer will be in a clown suit? [Why?]

Date: Mon, 06 Nov 2000 Subject: (no subject) ---------------------------- Send me colorful music sheet notes for the flute especially if its from the movies like the theme songs from the movies, but not sucky ones. I really need new music because at school we have sucky music and the teacher is a ho, so if you would make that big favor I would really appreciate it ok Thank you Bye [When you say that your teacher "is a ho," you have to be more specific]

Date: Tue, 07 Nov 2000 Subject: Is this a joke? ---------------------------- Your endorsement of Al Gore for president is the stupidest thing I have ever seen. You champion the candidate of "urban masses" and eschew the candidate of "locals." What are locals--those who don't live in a city? Is virtue found exclusively in urban settings? This truly is Gore-like logic. Your word doesn't mean shit when the topic involves something important. You're a lemon-brain. [I guess that's better than being a pea-brain]

Date: Tue, 07 Nov 2000 Subject: Gore for president? Uh, no. ---------------------------- Your political views are just as bad as your reviews. You're dumber than even my mother, and she's a grade-A flunk-out. Before you start having an orgasm over Gore as the savior of women, let me remind you that women exist on this planet for one reason only: reproductive tools. They are seed receptacles and nothing else. [Notice: Any woman who has sex with the person above should be severely punished]

Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 Subject: ???????????? ---------------------------- I just read the review to "The Negotiator" - who writes this balderdash? where can we find him and use an iron maiden on him? ["balderdash"... What a great word!]

Date: Tue, 14 Nov 2000 Subject: Reveiw ---------------------------- I completly disagree with the filmtrack narrator. I loved the music and Im 17 and could still play the music repeatedly trying to search it's melodies. This all depends on what music you like. The nightmare before christmas bridges sadness and soft child-like depression. This all depends on what your searching for in your music. I need my prozac when I listen to my nightmare before christmas cd, but who cares?. [Elfman music and Prozac go hand in hand? Why an I not surprised?]

Date: Sat, 18 Nov 2000 Subject: whatever ---------------------------- Hi my name is Liz and I have nothing against Mortal Kombat at all. The Filmtracks reviewer was not chosen by RAYDEN to review the show music. When I first seen it with my friends we waited for the soundtrack to come out and the second one after. We used to act like we were chosen by RAYDEN to defened our world. But no-one ever got hurt. But you see I don't care what any one thinks,...Mortal Kombat is here to stay... Filmtracks is not. RAYDEN will destroy Filmtracks.com. Thanx [My Grandma Karen could squash Rayden anyday]

Date: Tue, 21 Nov 2000 Subject: Weird Varese Sarabande CD Site ---------------------------- Hello: This isn't about your site - your site is great. This is just an FYI. Have you ever tried to purchase a CD from Varese Sarabande's web site? As much a loyal fan of their label as I am, I have never encountered such a bad e-commerce site. Just try purchasing a CD, any CD, or to set up an account. See what deadends you end up with. That's really a shame. The only good visit I ever had to their site is when I clicked on something and a up popped a huge picture of Peter North screwing Kobe Tai, hardcore porn stars. That must have been a mess-up someplace. [I encouraged this guy to contact the owner of Varese Sarabande personally about that last little tidbit]

Date: Wed, 06 Dec 2000 Subject: Member of bidding ---------------------------- Hello Webmaster, i want to be registrated, so that i can make bids on Soundtracks. My name is xxxxx xxxxxxxxx but i want to be named ATTILA.the.SUAVE if it's possible, becuase that's my name all around in the Auction houses! thanx for everything! [Attila the Suave! Attila the Suave! Attila the Suave!]

Date: Wed, 06 Dec 2000 Subject: My Favor ---------------------------- Hello, my name is xxxxxx xxxxx. I am a Japanese University student currently researching movies. I was wondering if I can reproduce many of your reviews into my graduating thesis and use my name on it. I will not abuse your Home page or typings. I promise to return ownership of writings back to you after I graduate with honor. I was wondering if you can respond to me whenever you have time.Thank you very much. [How insulting! Write your own damn thesis!]

Date: Tue, 12 Dec 2000 Subject: (no subject) ---------------------------- who ever this is please write back my name is xxxxxx write back two 'xxxxxxxx@aol.com' and say "knock, knock"! [Filmtracks: "Knock, knock" Idiot Fan: "Who's there?" Filmtracks: "A film music webmaster who's gonna kick your ass!"]

Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 Subject: autograph ---------------------------- Hello do you know how I could get a NFL football autographed by james horner the composer? My son is a big fan -thanks [Horner and the NFL? Did I miss something here?]

Date: Sat, 16 Dec 2000 Subject: Heretic!!! ---------------------------- ZOE POLEDOURIS ROCKS, you WORTHLESS PIECE OF CRAP!!! I LOVE HER!! HER MUSIC BRINGS EVEN MORE ELATION TO MY ALREADY QUITE FUN-FILLED LIFE!!!!! On the other hand, you have very humorous comments about your deranged fan's/not-fan's e-mails, so perhaps we should simply kill you, instead of using MY plan. I won't disturb you with the details; they would . . . disturb you. Perhaps you should listen to "Have not been to Paradise" a few thousand more times, as pennance for your terrible sin against my Goddess. I look up lyrics to Her songs, and suddenly I find out, second-hand, that you have commited some kind of heresy against Her!!!!! I still think we should shove a living snake up your-- Ahem. I digress. I am simply here to inform you that ZOE POLEDOURIS IS A GODDESS!!! [Oh, please digress. I like those the most]

Date: Fri, 05 Jan 2001 Subject: hi ---------------------------- I was wondering if you have heard of a planet named Ordanac. I have frequently been having dreams of a similar planet with "Gidgets" and wizards and much more. If you would like to hear more, please write me. Thank you. P.S. I am not dysfunctioal or insane. Sincerely, Axxxxxx The Enlightened [...Not dysfunctional or insane, but definitely a collector of rare mushrooms]

Date: Sun, 14 Jan 2001 Subject: GIVE ---------------------------- GIVE ME FUCKING DOLLAR FOR THE DEAD GODDAMMIT YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT [You forgot to say the magic word]

Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 Subject: Our Toilet is Overflowing Everywhere! ---------------------------- Send us a plunger for our overflowing toilet! Better yet, we'll take the printouts of your soundtrack reviews, wrap them around a stick, and that will work just fine!! See? Your reviews aren't completely useless crap!! [Glad I could help out]

Date: Tue, 16 Jan 2001 Subject: Your Batman Beyond Review ---------------------------- [This guy had waaaay too much time on his hands...] I just read your review of Batman Beyond and I must say, You're an idiot. No really, you're just a plain dumb ass. It's idiots like you who should be working for stupid companies like hard copy and access hollywood. Lame critic assholes who have nothing better to do than put down people's work when they themselves are just ignorant dickheads who don't have any talent and couldn't compose a single thing. "It is because of soundtracks like this that orchestral film score enthusiasts wake up in cold sweats in the middle of the night, fearing the future existence of a decent scoring genre of music" The orchestral filmscore enthusiasts I can understand, because that is the paticular genre they focus and enjoy. However the genre you're talking about isn't even close to orchestral! That's like if some metal head webpage were to review a country album or a rap album, or *gasp* and ORCHESTRAL album! It's ridiculous and you can't say the entire genre is crap simply because you don't like it. That's called ignorance. Not criticism. "Not only is the music from Batman Beyond a sure way of obtaining a headache, but it has the power of perversion working for it as well" Funny, I didn't get a head ache listening to it, I rather enjoyed it. And just so you know I enjoy various orchestral acts as well. Perversion? Funny, I noticed you never once elaborated on that topic. Know why? Because you're full of shit. There's not one piece of evidence on the soundtrack that implies "Perversion." I don't hear any women moaning or any sexually orientated themes. This is a soundtrack for a CARTOON SHOW. As in for a YOUNG GENERATION. I highly doubt Warner Bros would allow any form of "perversion" on a soundtrack. "ever before have I heard a score --and I've heard thousands-- with such a vicious and mean-spirited personality." There isn't even any lyrics in the damn soundtrack! How can you honestly say "mean-spritied personality"? It's a fucking instrumental theme track you stupid cunt. Fucking idiot review whores like you don't even know what the fuck you're talking about. "Even beyond its capacity for easily disturbing everyone within a 300 foot radius of your stereo" Hey dick head, the whole world isn't orchestral score enthusiasts. In fact they're a dying breed. Get over it. Funny the only reaction I got from playing it within the 300 FOOT RADIUS (because we all know it's horrible affects begin to disipate after the given distance) was from myself from thinking "Hey this is pretty good" and a friend also displaying his approval. And once again, we're not metal head-put-down everything-except-the stuff-we-like (Sound fammilar?) Ignorant assholes, we also enjoy various orchestral acts and other types of genres. Which SOME people can't seem to accept. "What's more unsettling?... the music?... or those who can actually sit and obtain pleasure from listening to it?" Once again, pure ignorance. You not only insult the soundtrack which is your given right as a highly acclaimed and ever so godly like critic but you insult the audiences that would approve of such a soundtrack and yet would also listen to scores you would approve of. Pure fucking ignorance. "teenage Batman who, as can be easily interpreted through the music, has a multitude of serious psychological troubles" If you even watched the show you'd see that the character went home to his house only to stumble upon the scene of his father's murder. But hey it's ok we can all laugh and say hey that's the kinda music fucked up kids like him listen to!" Cause were "highly acclaimed ochestral theme critics"! "Nonetheless, the series has become a hit with a very loyal and focused group of (perhaps equally troubled) youngsters in the U.S." It's huge on the WBKids network, wow,now you've sunken even lower, not only do you put down the soundtrack, but you put down a wide audience of young children with your wonderful gift of criticism. And we all know EVERY single kid who watches the show is a victim of having their father murdered. "The music is aimed directly at that crowd." Once again... "the soundtrack for Batman Beyond contains a wealth of bizarre and sharply metallic samples of bass, drums, distorted vocals, and overwhelming guitars." THEN WHY WOULD YOU REVIEW IT AT AN ORCHESTRAL SCORE SITE???? WHY ARENT YOU REVIEWING NATURAL BORN KILLERS AND CHARLIES ANGELS AND ANYTHING ELSE WITH MUSIC THAT ISNT ORCHESTRAL HUH???? Oh I'm sorry, the little critic can't even stick to his own genre anymore. He just wants an excuse to use his "Frisbee" rating. By the way your mortal kombat review sucked as well. And I didn't even like the soundtrack. "but how can they be proud of producing such demonic crap as this?" By viewing the success of the show and realizing it's a smash hit and invigorating the batman genre. "no guitar that doesn't crash" I don't recall any guitars "Crashing" "no drum sample that doesn't pound" What are they supposed to do then? Just remain silent? They're there for a reason idiot. Even a music critic like you should know that. "There are no redeeming qualities to this music at all" In the eyes of an orchestral film critic, and only to those who listen exclusively to such music. However unlike you I have learned to respect all shapes and forms of music. "Devoid of any positive character, music like the score for Batman Beyond is the kind that could easily inspire the next fatal high school shooting. I'm dead serious." THAT is the line that inspired me to write this email. That is by far the most pathetic thing I have ever heard in ANY critic. That is not only a completely ridiculous and ignorant thing to say, but very sick. How can you honestly say that it would inspire a fatal high school shooting? I listen to it and I don't feel any urges to kill anyone at my highschool. (Although I do have an urge to kill a paticular orchestral score critic) And please, for the sake of humour, provide one shred of evidence that even remotely shows inspiration of high school massacre. Perhaps some of the anger driven energy in some of the tracks but even orchestral scores have tracks done for angry and energetic parts of the film. And I certainly doubt that would inspire any high school shooting. I am willing to put a generous amount of money on the line that would prove you're one of the idiots who blamed the columbine massacre on artists like Marilyn Manson and KMFDM. Marilyn Manson has themes which to most would suggest death and perhaps it is only human nature to percieve it as this. But a soundtrack for a children's cartoon show? One that has no lyrics, not one single word. Do the guitars and electronics display some type of encoded message that properly played read: "KILL PEOPLE AT YOUR SCHOOL BECAUSE THIS KIND OF MUSIC IS EXCLUSIVELY FOR THOSE WHO DO SO" "This soundtrack is court evidence waiting to happen." I am also willing to put even MORE money on the line to see ANY judge who wouldn't look at this and laugh at the stupid school's lawyers using this as evidence and your review to support it. There is by FAR worse violent themed soundtracks that contain actual lyrics suggesting it, not just the energy given off by such. And once again, I imagine an orchestral score of an energetic theme could even inspire such violence. And if it does, I'd say the person acting in such a manner is probably about as ridiculous as you. If music inspires you to do something violent, then something is wrong with YOU. Not the music. Same thing with video games, same thing with movies, same thing with tv, same thing with books. It's merely an excuse for bad parenting and a system that doesn't work. "Come on, are you guys really proud of providing such an inspiring masterpiece for the world to enjoy?" I for one am. "I consider myself a very mellow person, yet this soundtrack even put me into a bad mood!" You must be very sheltered. Watch one day of MTV and I guarantee you'll be crying. I highly doubt you're "mellow" if you grow concerned that a simple cd will inspire death and violence. "Harmful to the ears and the soul, Batman Beyond is the least respectable soundtrack album of 1999 so far." I didn't ecounter any pain to my hearing or my soul when listening to this. As a critic you don't have the right to declare it as the WORST soundtrack of 1999. For one it's a kid's show, so nobody that would be interested in your works would be even remotely interested. Are you going to critique barney and seseme street as well? "At a basic level, this music functions very much like Mortal Kombat music." Once again, I question why you would review such a cd on a page that consists exclusively of orchestral theme music. Are you going to review the matrix cd (not the orchestral score) and criticize it's hard rock bands and say that it inspires death and high school shootings? After all Marilyn Manson is on the cd and we all know how good he is for lame critics like you to blame because it's become a cliche. "Both are very fine tuned for a specific (brainwashed) audience." HEY KIDS! WHATS THE WORD AGAIN? I! G! N! O! R! A! N! C! E! WHAZZAT SPELL?! IGNORANCE!!!! "Both attempted to achieve new innovation in a massively popular genre of darkness and despair for teenage boys" How can you speak for a massively popular genre of darkness and despair if you dont even have any part of it? In fact the scores you review go with films that are darker and scarier than either of these films. Look at Gladiator. TONS of killing and death in that movie, I fail to see how you can look at a movie and not be disturbed in the slightest yet the soundtrack really disturbs you and brings concern to the future of our education system and overall self esteem levels of teenage boys. Once again, it's not soundtracks (as hard as it may seem to believe) that's making teenagers kill nowadays, it's ignorance. Ignorance from their fellow students and parents, the anger that builds up, the other forms in which it escalates, and finally, the easy access to guns. Funny after reading your review I guess we can throw in soundtracks to little kids shows. " To perhaps best sum it up, this score makes the electronic Transformers music from the 1980s seem like a classical masterpiece sent from Heaven." Although the 80s metal tracks didn't appeal to me (notice how i don't put it, the genre, and the people that listen to it down???) I rather enjoyed the electronic tracks. And it also makes me wonder what you have against electronic music? Are you going to give me the dumb reasons typical ignorant metal heads give me? Are you going to say it's not real sound and it takes no talent to compose? "As for Batman Beyond, keep the jewel case as a spare" Why would you purchase it in the first place if you don't like it? Once again I question why you criticize a genre that you don't even focus upon. It's silly and I imagine the people that come to your site don't care for it. Why would they want to read about bad cds? Wouldn't they want your site to be composed entirely of cds that might appeal to them? "Not recommended listening while driving in metropolitan areas." Have you ever walked in a metropolitan area? 90% of all car stereos will be playing hard rock, rap, electronic and various other forms of pop music. Not orchestral theme scores. Once again, not that there's anything wrong with the genre, but you for one cannot speak for an entire metropolitan area. Your skills as a critic have truly diminished. "FRISBEE" Also useful for decapitating useless orchestral theme critics. And I say that out of pure disgust of your review, not because the soundtrack made me do it and I'm a depressed and dark and despairing teenaged boy who's father was slain by the hands of another fictuous cartoon character. But hey, next time a high school shooting does happen, we can all make reference to this soundtrack and point away from the real flaws of our eduction system and further add more to the problem! And greatly acclaimed critics like you will benefit! Anyways, I'm dying to hear from you. I hope I didn't scare you too much. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go blast this paticular soundtrack in my car stereo in a metropolitan area and keep you in the back of my head and laugh. Oh and excuse me, also conjure up a plan for a high school massacre in my head. Because we all know you were DEAD SERIOUS about this soundtrack winding up as COURTROOM EVIDENCE. Cya later, try to lay off the ignorance, and soundtracks that dont even come remotely close to the genre your site focusses on. [Someone! Send this man a hooker!]

Date: Wed, 31 Jan 2001 Subject: wassuuuuupp ---------------------------- whassuuup -i think yo ass is real good [My first wassuuup experience was a good one]

Date: Wed, 21 Feb 2001 Subject: Hi Chrestean ! ---------------------------- Hello Chrestean! I am a computer programmer, working on a project to show sound modulations visually on computer screen. I would really appreciate it if you can tell me if you love getting high and watching sound modulations ( those zigzag lines that go up and down on most CD players when any music is playing on it ) as much as I do. If yes , I can send you some dope that will make it even better for you! [Look at what just a little dope can do to my name... Awesome!]

Date: Sun, 25 Feb 2001 Subject: "In sum, we've eliminated your ass." ---------------------------- Hey, Asshole, I've never been to your page before this and don't appreciate you condescending fucking attitude. Evidently your software isn't as adept as you think because I clicked a damn vote button *ONCE* and got this fucking nasty message "eliminating my ass" from your site for voting too many times. Your software sucks, dickhead. [Which one's worse: the software glitch which accidentally banned his vote? Or the glitch in this guy's brain that caused him to go nuts about it?]

Date: Wed, 07 Mar 2001 Subject: A Film About Toilets and God ---------------------------- Hello, My name is xxxxxxx xxxxxxxx. I want to make a film about toilets and god. I believe that the toilet is a passageway to God. Instead of excreting our waste into the toilet, we could be closer to God by going to a public restoom and excreting our waste on the floor next to the toilet. After all, if the toilet is a religious icon, we can't go around pissing on it. God would get pissed! Please, can you please write me some music for the toilet god? Thank you and goodnight [This was forwarded on to the composer who writes music for the Southern Baptist Convention]

Date: Tue, 20 Mar 2001 Subject: hi ---------------------------- hi i live in the united arab emerites. can you please put the song 'dreams to dream' from 'fieval goes west' tanya's version sang by cathy cavadini available to download in mp3 format? it is banned in my country but i want to sing it to my animals so they can talk back to me like fieval. thankyou.please put the whole song. [Fieval is banned in the United Arab Emerites? Unacceptable!]

Date: Sat, 31 Mar 2001 Subject: Miracle Whip Ministries ---------------------------- ATTENTION: If you or someone at Filmtracks.com is in charge of scheduling visitng ministries, please stop by for a visit www.mwministries.com and hear some of our music. We would count it a privilege to come to your Filmtracks offices and present the encouraging message of God's love through food, music and testimony. Proclaiming Christ through Music and Witness and Miracle Whip [The Miracle Whip sounds suspicious in a religious setting. Are they talking about the food? Or will they whip up a miracle?]

Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2001 Subject: Cheap Site ---------------------------- I will never be back at your cheap site. I can understand selling sound clips of recent movies. But not of movies 20 years old that are clasic and part of our society. Your a money grubbing, greedy bum. You can put your CDs where the sun don't shine. Everyone should boycott your site but they probably don't see the cheep blaster that you are. I know how to spell. [Another valued customer lost...]

Date: Sun, 29 Apr 2001 Subject: Hello ---------------------------- Dear Filmtracks.com, I would like to invite your soundtrack enthusiasts to visit my Web site at http://xxxxxxx.com/xxxxxxxx to learn more about the Tupperware sets in our new colors as well as fantastic discounts! We have special tupperware sets that can fit your fans favorite autographed pictures of composers as well as special or favorite CDs. Filmtracks is a natural sister partner for our Tupperware offers. Please contact me now so that you can take advantage of the popular Tupperware logos on every page of Filmtracks! Sincerely, Mr. xxxxxx xxxxxxxxx [What a delusional fool!]

Date: Wed, 09 May 2001 Subject: message from the great ITALY ---------------------------- I'm an italian student of music. My name is xxxx xxxxxxxxxx, and I'm 25. I write to you to say you something about my compositions. I write tracksounds. I want you to take my budding flower and pollenate it throughout the entire world. Expose me to everyone and I will return enormous favors to you. If you are interessed, contact me to my e-mail: I'll send you my demonstration compact disk. Thank you for pollenating me! [I'm not sure if this person realizes just how suggestive that is]

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 Subject: A question ---------------------------- Hello Christian: I'm only want to ask you if can i use a picture of your head from your site in place of my own head on my site since mine it's still under construction. When I finish my site, I will remove your headshot and replace it with my own. Is that okay? [No! Borrow someone else's head!]

Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 Subject: your crazy ---------------------------- if u are the person who writes the reviews-u are positively awful. you have no music taste whatsover-are a a musician becasue the way you write makes me think you are not-so how could you possibly now any better. what u wrote about the english patient and braveheart -i cannot beleive anyone could think "your" way after hears such ecclectic music. your crazy [Not only am I musically trained, but I can use correct grammar, too!]

Date: Mon, 28 May 2001 Subject: FEEDBACK ---------------------------- YOUR REVIEWS STINK. IF I SHOVED A COIL OF SPEAKER WIRE UP YOUR ASS THEN MAYBE YOU WOULD ACTUALLY HEAR THE MUSIC. [I honestly hadn't thought of that solution]

Date: Thu, 31 May 2001 Subject: John Williams autograph--authentic or not? ---------------------------- Dear Christian, I've placed a high bid ($650.00) on a John Williams autographed 8x10 being sold on Ebay. The signature looks authentic enough, but after seeing Williams' signature on the Filmtracks John Williams Tribute page, I'm not sure how genuine the photo's autograph really is. Could you please tell me if, in your opinion, the signature in the photo looks authentic or not? Here's the photo in question: http://imagehost.auctionwatch.com/xxxxxx..... I believe that I made a terrible mistake! Thanks in advance for your help. [Yes, a terrible mistake! My advice: Think before you bid]

Date: Sun, 03 Jun 2001 Subject: hope for coorerratioe ---------------------------- Dear Mr Clemmensen, advertising specialist for Filmtracks Publishing, We are toy manufacturer and supplier in EastChina. The general office is located in Shanghai. We own several factories in Chenghai City, Guangdong Province and Yangzhou City, Jiangsu Province. We can offer you a bobble-head design of yourself so that your FILMTRACKS fans can put a bobblehead of you in their home or car. Please contact us here. [I can't decide if the inventor of bobbleheads is a marketing genius or deviant who should be killed immediately]

Date: Wed, 13 Jun 2001 Subject: bubblegum crisis ---------------------------- Hi I've just setup a brand new bubblegum crisis site Can we trade links?

Date: Fri, 15 Jun 2001 Subject: This Site is total bullshit ---------------------------- At one time I thought that I respected this site.........That quickly faded as I read several reaviews. All of my points can be summed up in one comment. "You know that this site is total bullshit when Tarzan ranks higher than the masterpieces of magnolia, American beauty and The green mile." Who are you people. You guys probaly listen to Briteny Spears or some mainstream shit. you people are a disgrace [On the contrary, our offices are a distinctly Spears-free zone]

Date: Tue, 19 Jun 2001 Subject: Just Do It!!! ---------------------------- Your name is Christian Clemmensen. My name Is Stacy Brenner. I love sex and I want to provide you with that special erotic gift that will put a big smile on your face. It will make you kum with joy with how discreet it is to add some erotic spice to your life. No going to sleasy places where i would'nt even be seen. Let me help you un bottle that exotic side of you. SEXUAL DISCRETION IS MY OBSESSION!!!!! -(but I didn't like your review of Mission Impossible 2)- [I thought this was just another sex spam mail until I saw that last part!]

Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2001 Subject: Capser house ---------------------------- dear mister, I was wondering who created the house in the film Casper. Do you accidently know how I can get in touch with that person? I seek to purchase the house and make it my permenant residence. Thanks in advance [It's fiction, you dork... fiction]

Date: Fri, 06 Jul 2001 Subject: Palm Springs loves you. ---------------------------- Palm Springs Limo & Public Shuttle loves your site. 23 years of first-class personal service to celebrities, families, and visitors from around the world, and we visit Filmtracks Reviews when not on duty. Peace be with you!! [That's just COOL]

Date: Mon, 23 Jul 2001 Subject: SMOKE DETECTOR ADDENDUM ---------------------------- WHO ARE YOU AND FUCK YOU BACK [Ah, the lost art of pleasantries...]

Date: Thu, 16 Aug 2001 Subject: Kids Love Tubazine, it fun and educational ---------------------------- TUBAZINE is a educational publication for kids and the entire family. A new concept in magazine publishing for children...one that uses brass instruments as a vehicle for creating educational entertainment. We wish to extend you an offer of purchasing our 26 minute video: TUBAZINE IN NEW YORK for a discount price of $820. With your purchase, you can place a Filmtracks.com banner on our site for one week! Please contact us immediately. [What?! $820 for a 26 minute educational video?? The musicians better all be naked for that price!]

Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2001 Subject: I need help from Filmtracks ---------------------------- In unexpected circumstances, I lost my virginity. I was used by my parents' son, for his own whims. Where can I purchase Moulin Rouge, to ease my pain? [Better yet, go use a baseball bat on your brother]

Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2001 Subject: replaced ---------------------------- My name used to be Ellen Stanley. I have been replace by a drone. I can no longer visit your site. I am truly sorry. [This was a major bummer]

Date: Mon, 27 Aug 2001 Subject: Arizona Beef Jerky ---------------------------- Your reviews are almost as good as Arizona Beef Jerky. They're the highest gourmet quality jerky that can be found anywhere. Your site is like the lip-smacking flavors; The reviews are PEPPERED (a true black pepper flavor with a nice kick) and the scoreboard forum is TERIYAKI (an authentic American style, sweet and very mild). I love the flavor and soft, mild, tender texture of your writing, just like the the finest choice-aged, grain-fed beef. Filmtracks and Arizona Beef Jerky are marinated with the right amount of natural spices and quips of the word to insure that every tender juicy bite and review is the same fine quality. I love you! [This one reads like an Outback Steakhouse ad. But what's the point?]

Date: Mon, 27 Aug 2001 Subject: Lawrence Fishbourne's Shoes ---------------------------- Where can I get a pair of autographed Lawrence Fishbourne shoes? I checked at the St. Anthony Foundation for the Homeless, but they weren't there. [Try checking at the St. Nike Foundation for the Hopelessly Stupid]

Date: Mon, 10 Sep 2001 Subject: You are SATAN! I will pray for you! ---------------------------- My name is xxxxxxxxx and I represent the Lord Jesus Christ. "Filmtracks Modern Soundtrack Reviews" is teaching the works of the devil. Jesus was the most sensible, patient, caring, sound-minded man of all time. I am so mad that you don't know Jesus at all! He is my whole life, and it hurts me to see you disgrace him by pretending to know his beverage choice. Like Jesus, I am NOT crazy. I know Jesus personally, and he is my FATHER. He is the most gentle spirit of all time. I would have loved to live in his time and had him show me his love, devotion, and the true friendship that he had to offer. None of us hold even a tiny candle to his most intelligent teachings. He is like the God (His own Father)....you know the God who made all of Heaven and earth? His name is Jehovah, and he made Jesus, so if God was proud of his own made, shouldn't we be also? Of course the devil has you teaching his stupid stuff. Get wise, or go with the traitor of all life. SATAN! I will pray this tonight. That you will get real, or live what you are teaching this very night! And that you will know where the source is coming from. I am hardly crazy.......I am lovingly, God's wife! Don't you dare talk about my only Father that way! Jesus was the most whole and sound-minded in the his entire life! You call us crazy for loving a father who was and is every sense of the word, real, and not a hypocrite! Quit lying on him! He is my father. I love Jesus! I love Jesus! I love Jesus! Read the bible correctly. I understand every word and action that Jesus did. God, Jesus, and their followers ARE a peculiar people. Read about all of the things that God did in the old testament. They were not always understandable, but we are unlike God, and do not have his mind. He and Jesus have all of their own reasons for their peculiar teachings. But I would never doubt any of it, nor call them hypocritical in any way! I love them, and very happy to be a part of their family. Instead of cutting his people down, reading the bible with your own simple minds, and hurting my Father, ask the one you are cutting down for wisdom of his ways. Geez, you idiots make me mad, and I am tired of being the laughing stock of the realness of God, and laughed at for my tremendous love and faith in the Christ! I laugh at your idiocy! One more thing! I am so very tired of feeling like the foolish for loving a man named Jesus. You weirdo's all think we are weird for even talking about or serving Jesus. He is very real! So let me let you all feel a little weird for once. God is not weird, we (Jesus freaks) are not weird, we are smart, and desire to live in harmony, peace, and sinless in our next life! There is nothing wrong with us, there is most definately something wrong with you! I hate you with a Godly hatred, and pray all of you idiots would find better things to do than corrupt others and your own minds with the deceits of your own minds. Quit cutting us Christians, and God down. I am getting seriously tired of it! He will be the one to own up to in the last days, so get wise, will you! [These people never seem to get bored with their own rantings]

Date: Tue, 11 Sep 2001 Subject: No dont let it happen! ---------------------------- The bad terrorists are flying airplanes into buildins! Please dont let the arabs take over your web!!?! But if you are arab too, YOU MUST DIEEEEE!!!!!!! [Gee, how politically incorrect. Still funny, though]

Date: Thu, 13 Sep 2001 Subject: May I suggest a Psychometrics Seminar ---------------------------- Dear Christian Clemmensen, I have read many dozens of your textual content on this Filmtracks web site and I am fearful for the health of your mind. May I suggest that you attend the 2nd annual seminar in Applied Psychometrics for Health Outcomes Research in Research Triangle Park, North Carolina on October 15-16, 2001. This year's seminar features conceptual lectures by Dr. Kenneth Bolen, Dr. Rick Hoyle, and Dr. Bryce Reeve on Structural Equation Modeling and Item-Response Theory. We have adopted a new single-track format that allows us to offer formal demonstrations of programming SEM and IRT for health outcomes research, plus some additional one-hour presentations on special methodological problems in the measurement of health outcomes. You could benefit greatly. [Quacks! Quacks! Quacks!]

Date: Sat, 29 Sep 2001 Subject: cow has MADCOW disease ---------------------------- If your cow sounds like this [audio clip of George W. Bush stuttering], then fire up the barbecue! May we suggest the fish. [Not sure what exact political statement this man was trying to make]

Date: Sun, 30 Sep 2001 Subject: Viagra, It's Whaazzz UP! (not you, obviously) ---------------------------- Dudes at Filmtracks, you need Viagra REEAAL BAD. [That subject line is RUDE!]

Date: Sun, 14 Oct 2001 Subject: (no subject) ---------------------------- Hi My niece is getting married and wants to have the Braveheart score played at her wedding. Do you know where/if I can get a copy of the score -- for electric guitar and accordion? Thanks. [Just for the record: Anyone who wants large-scale James Horner music to be performed by an electric guitar and accordion for a wedding ceremony is sick, and the bride's family should object immediately!]

Date: Wed, 17 Oct 2001 Subject: Jesus,I'm not kidding ---------------------------- Jesus Christ is coming back, no news quite yet but you can see some info at jesusxxxxxxxx.com. I will be his media manager. [Will he take sponsors? How much for a Filmtracks patch on his robes?]

Date: Thu, 01 Nov 2001 Subject: chicago side ---------------------------- hi, i have a top floor, 1200 square foot loft in the south loop, sunny, nice views of downtown and the sears tower. we have ragin parties there all the time. But we never got totally nasty until someone put Moulin Rouge into the stereo. Then the place became the orgy of moans and bodily fluids! Dude, that music rocks the babes! [The term "bodily fluids" is simply too vague]

Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2001 Subject: my child needs assistance. ---------------------------- My daughter is looking for research on soundtracks that were used between the years 1870 and 1900.... Who wrote them, how good were they, etc. Any suggestions? [Dude, we're Filmtracks MODERN Soundtrack Reviews. How the hell am I supposed to know? Did they even make movies back then?]

Date: Mon, 19 Nov 2001 Subject: HI DUNE ---------------------------- HI I Exxxxxxx E Bxxx Cxxxxxx I LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE DUNE WORM ON THE SEARCH E MAIL SONE LOVE Exxxxxxx E Bxxx Cxxxxxx HEAR IS MY ADDRESS 8xx Uxxxx ST APT xx Bxxxxxx PA 19xxx SEND IT ON HEAR AT MY HOME I LIKE WORMSIGN AND WORMS [The only wormsign around here happens in bed]

Date: Sun, 25 Nov 2001 Subject: CONTACT ---------------------------- Hi. How do I contact the reviewer of the soundtracks on the FILMTRACK site you are the webmaster for? There doesn't seem to be a link to email him/her and I wanted to comment about some of their reviews. It says on the "About site" page that someone named "Clemmenson" is the reviewer, but I thought he was dead. Thank you. [Thought I was dead?!? Sorry, but the Christians won't get rid of me that easily.]

Date: Thu, 29 Nov 2001 Subject: HELP ---------------------------- DEAR SIR/MADAM: I AM NOT LEE MARVIN CAN YOU TELL ME THE ADDRES OF WEB WHICH CAN I EAT THE THEME SONG OF THE MOVIE--"THE MASK OF ZORRO". THE SONG'S NAME IS:I WANT TO SPEND MY LIFETIME LOVING YOU. NEED NOW. THANKYOU. [What does Lee Marvin have to do with anything?]

Date: Sat, 01 Dec 2001 Subject: Problem with www.filmtracks.com? ---------------------------- Hi, I just tried to visit your website at www.filmtracks.com and got the following error in my Internet Explorer: "You Are Not Authorized to View This Adult Content" Your site didin't seem pornographic the last time I visited. I thought you would like to know. [Honestly, given this Faux Pas Page, I'm not surprised]

Date: Sun, 02 Dec 2001 Subject: I wanna ---------------------------- I want to see a picture of a big hairy gorilla tearing off the head of Barney the Dinosaur. where can I find it? [I don't know, but when you find one, send a copy to me, too]

Date: Wed, 12 Dec 2001 Subject: FUCKER, ---------------------------- #####THIS FUCKING SITE ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););););) ;);););););););););) and #####iedereen die dit leest motherfuckers, ik rule te hard over alles en #####jullie allemaal tering tyfes kanker leiers [Take some pills and try again in the morning]

Date: Fri, 14 Dec 2001 Subject: Isn't It Time You Solved Your "little" Problem? ---------------------------- Real Men don't sit around and write reviews about music. You must be an underperformer when and where it counts the most. [No, Real Men don't GOLF]

Date: Sat, 15 Dec 2001 Subject: YAbbaDabbADoo! ---------------------------- Don't do that to your dog! [We don't have a dog]

Date: Tue, 18 Dec 2001 Subject: I want a Jesus Beverage Choice T-shirt. ---------------------------- Hello This is an out of the ordinary question, but here goes: I want to purchase the T-shirt you mention on your personal page: "If Jesus Were Alive, He'd Prefer PEPSI" I want to wear it to church sometime and piss off the interim pastor who is a brainless prick. Just wondering, Thanks [There's a better T-shirt out there for your situation. It says in big letters on the front: "Hey dumbass. You're reading the wrong verse."]

Date: Mon, 17 Dec 2001 Subject: purchase filmtracks mix ---------------------------- Hello: I,m interesting in making a mixe whit some sountacks of some differente movies themes witout obeying copyrite law. Are you in possibility for making this kind of work? I will be very pleasure to earing about you as soon as posible. Don,t tell anyone. especially police. Best regards: [Would it be worse if I told your mother?]

Date: Tue, 25 Dec 2001 22:16:11 -0700 Subject: screw you! ---------------------------- /"\ |\./| | | | | |>~<| | | /'\| |/'\.. /~\| | | | \ | =[@]= | | \ | | | | | \ | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` ) | / \ / \ / \ ____ / |--//''`\--| | (( +==)) | |--\_|_//--|

Date: Thu, 03 Jan 2002 Subject: PING_YONG ---------------------------- Singer , searsh for any song and sing, stretch, slinky slippy, suckle! ;) [Alliteration at its best]

Date: Thu, 10 Jan 2002 Subject: You are loved... ---------------------------- I want you to know that there is someone who loves you very much. That's important to know in the " dog eat dog world " in which we live. We spend our lives trying to earn love and respect and somehow we never seem to " measure up ". It's wonderful to be loved without reservation, without having to earn it. We are loved , not because we are good, not because we have lived up to expectations, and not because we've tried to live a good life, but we are loved just like we are...faults and all. God has put a high value on our lives in that He gave His son to die on a cross to pay the penalty for all our sins. He has a very high purpose for yor life! So, for His sake, stop using filmtracks.com to spread filth! [Where's the fun of running a website if you can't spread some filth?]

Date: Sun, 13 Jan 2002 Subject: hello ---------------------------- I write a little english, I am french, Year : 1965 : 33 Tr " John Barry plays OO7" ( compilation by John Barry) Bye Good Year 2002 Pray no Explosions or Death from Arab Omar Tentmakers Thank you [Not sure what he wants, but he definitely doesn't care for Muslims]

Date: Wed, 23 Jan 2002 Subject: Hi ---------------------------- My son love The Land Before Time. Can you tell me where to get a Real Dinosaur to keep in our back yeard. A little one, please. Thank you [I'm sure that would violate some city ordinance]

Date: Fri, 01 Feb 2002 Subject: Your site was not very valuable... ---------------------------- I am currently studying music theory at a special school in England. My professor visited your site and said that your information is false and misleading. He told me that your site is no good as a reference and that your opinions are "not worth the cheap keyboard he types them on". Sorry. [Well then, tell that Dumbledore fellow that as far as Muggle sites go, Filmtracks ain't that bad]

Date: Fri, 08 Feb 2002 Subject: A invitation for you to join ---------------------------- Incest: A Game the Whole Family can Play My sisters are very good at Naked Twister! [Now all you need is a couple of guys with banjos to make it complete!]

Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 Subject: LardAss ---------------------------- I've just read your shocking opinion about the Harry Potter's score, and it's not an opinion at all. You are a Lard ass who complains about greenpeace trying to stop animal sex, and nobody just doesn't agree with you because you likes having sex with animal!! What's wrong with you, this reviewer? I can't believe you wrote this horrible review,This is why, I'm asking you, in the name of Mankind to erase it. [This guy needs Human Growth Hormone Therapy for the Brain]

Date: Fri, 15 Feb 2002 Subject: Filmtracks ---------------------------- I was just wondering when you are going to debut the poignant, emotionally charged, wonderful music that YOU have written that gives YOU license to critique perfectly good filmscores AS IF YOU WERE MAHLER HIMSELF. Where is your brilliant filmscore that people are buying CD's of all over the world and is being critically acclaimed? Its okay to give something a good review, just because you are a critc does not mean you have to be critical about things that are fine. [I like the part about Mahler]

Date: Mon, 18 Feb 2002 Subject: Help me ---------------------------- My father died from a genetic disease called Polycystic Kidneys. I found out that I also have Polycystic Kidney Disease. My kidneys are so large they weigh over 40 pounds and must be removed because there is no room in my body for them. Please send free soundtrack music to me! [Um, no. You need a doctor, not a music critic]

Date: Fri, 01 Mar 2002 Subject: Quote ---------------------------- Mr. Clemmensen, I am an elementary music teacher in a small Texas town. I am trying to prepare an internet unit for my students on movie soundtracks. Your webpage would be an invaluable resource for my classes. However, your indecent and profane FauxPas page that contains many unhappy words would keep me from being able to use it. I don't think my students' parents would. I'm hoping I can plead with you to remove the FauxPas page (even temporarily) from your site. There isn't another page on the web that is as extensive as yours. Your site leaves www.MovieMusic.com and www.Soundtrack.net in the dust. It would be so wonderful if my student's could use this page to better appreciate the wonderful people who compose and arrange and perform the music for their favorite movies. Just please, for the sake of our students and our future, remove the FauxPas page. Sincerely, [Remove the Faux Pas Page? Never! Inconceivable!]

Date: Sun, 03 Mar 2002 Subject: Hey ---------------------------- Big fan of your site. It's really interesting. I'd enjoy getting to know you better and speak w/ you. I'm quite a film score buff myself and I think we'd have some interesting discussions. I also think you are very handsome. :-) Are you gay? (please don't be shy) Hope to hear from you and once again, congratulations on an excellent site. [At least he was civil about it...]

Date: Mon, 18 Mar 2002 Subject: SHREK TALK ---------------------------- YOU ARE AN OGRE JUST LIKE SHREK - THAT IS WHY YOU CANT HEAR GOOD MUSIC - YOU HAVE DUMB LITTLE GREEN EARS THAT DONT LET SOUND WAVES IN - THERES NO PRINCESS FOR YOU< STUPID! GET A LIFE< OGRE! OGRE!!!!! [Is there actually a quantitative scientific study that verifies that Ogres suffer from diminished hearing?]

Date: Sun, 07 Apr 2002 Subject: No Positive vibration There! ---------------------------- I went on your site & really liked it. I can't believe those fuckers at 20th Cent Fox want to sue you!! Please tell me where they are so I can go drag them out by the feet, dunk them in raw sewage and set them on fire! I wager they are really ugly people too!! Keep up the good work,good luck to you. [Sir, they're already so covered with their own sewage that an additional dunking would be unnecessary to create a sufficient incendiary effect]

Date: Fri, 26 Apr 2002 Subject: Help, question ---------------------------- Help, I have question for you sirs. ... uh, oh oh, I am sorry! I forgot my question! [So what's the frickin' point?]

Date: Fri, 3 May 2002 Subject: Hey dude... ---------------------------- Hey dude, I have seen a college girl living nextdoor, striping and getting naked in front of her computer... and on her screen is YOUR WEBSITE! FILMTRACKS.COM! What is with that??!?? Do you know her??? [I have no idea what this guy is talking about. However, if some college girl is stripping for pleasure in front of Filmtracks on her computer, then she probably suffers from some terrible mental ailment]

Date: Mon, 06 May 2002 Subject: Tarzan and Jane ---------------------------- Where is Tarzan and Jane? Did Jane file for a divorce? [Yes, they couldn't agree on which direction the toilet paper should hang]

Date: Mon, 06 May 2002 Subject: Mr Clemmensen, you are wrong. ---------------------------- If you are so insistent that God does not exist, then why do use your "precious" Filmtracks.com trying to disprove Him. Why is it of importance to you if others do not agee with your opinions? Are you trying to convince others that God does not exist or are you trying to convince yourself? Perhaps the reason you try so hard to convince others of God's nonexistence is so you won't be all alone on the trip to Hell. It's kind of ironic that God gave you the air you breathe so you can use it to speak against Him. Your words are filled with hatred and anger which is a derivative of fear. Hitler's intense hatred and anger toward the Jews was out of the fear that they would prevent his quest for world domination. What are you afraid of? Has someone convinced you that you are not loved by God? Does your fear of not going to Heaven manifest itself in the form of anger hidden in soundtrack reviews? Please Mr. Clemmensen, reconsider your views. Jesus Christ died for ALL of our sins!! Repent Mr. Clemmensen. I am not sending you this e-mail to antagonize you. It is my duty as a Christian to save you. [And it's my duty as an ambivalent American consumer to mock you publicly]

Date: Tue, 07 May 2002 Subject: Not with my daughter.... ---------------------------- Are you Christian Clemmensen? If so: There's no way YOU are going out with MY daughter! [Sorry, too late!]

Date: Thu, 09 May 2002 Subject: re: which is worse ---------------------------- Let me ask you this... Which is worse: A. You are forced to bitch and complain because your film music website isn't making the same kind of money that it used to. B. You start bleeding during bowel movements. You go to the doctor and get poked, prodded, X-ray'd, biopsied, etc. 3 days later you get a call for a consultation. The doctor informs you that you have advanced colon cancer at 45 years old. You have anywhere from 6 months to 5 years left to live. He tells you it's time to get your house in order because you'll be checking out soon. Chemotherapy starts today. The moral: GET A FUCKING LIFE, PAL! [Looks like someone is forgetting to read the funnies in the Sunday papers]

Date: Fri, 10 May 2002 Subject: You should be sent away. ---------------------------- you are contributing to the moral decay of society. be away. or, at least get your teeth whitened. it usually costs between $300 and $500 from your local dentist, but i am sure someone with a fraudulent filmmusic site like yours could get it done for twenty bucks. [Sometimes, I just don't understand these people to any degree whatsoever]

Date: Tue, 14 May 2002 Subject: Petition for Peace in the Middle East Peace - Make a Difference! ---------------------------- Is it okay if I post a Petition for Peace in the Middle East Peace on every review at your site? If you say no, you are no better than people who strap bombs onto their bodies and blow up Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurants!! [No, but I do agree that it is a significant crime to blow up those nifty statues of Colonel Harland Sanders]

Date: Thu, 16 May 2002 Subject: contact info? ---------------------------- by chance do you know a way to contact franz waxman, his agent, or a label that hes on? any response would help, thanks. [Waxman, of course, has been dead for decades, revealing this Filmtracks visitor's consumption problem or, perhaps, retardation]

Date: Sun, 26 May 2002 Subject: Your "Not Found" page. ---------------------------- I accidentally typed in the wrong URL at Filmtracks and was presented with a terrible cartoon picture of Pope John Paul II. It was an unsubstantiated attack on the Pope's character. It was unscholarly, unprofessional, and totally unfit for publication. I hope you can do better than this in the future. I won't know, because I will never again return to your site. [This person must not have realized that the mass majority of Filmtracks is unscholarly, unprofessional, and totally unfit for publication]

Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 Subject: Polyglot Translation ---------------------------- Polyglot Translation Co., Ltd. --TO-- Filmtracks.com We are a professional translation organization that provides translation, interpretation, and simultaneous meeting interpretation in all fields. In addition, we provide localization of websites into Chinese, writing articles in multi-languages, foreign languages recording, proofreading, Interpreters/translators recommending, website designing and making and so on. We have reviewed your business web site Filmtracks.com, and we are proud to quote you a bid of $160,000.00 U.S. Dollars to translate the entire site into five (5) of the following languages: Japanese, French, German, Russian, Korean, Italian, Spanish, Dutch, Swedish, Finnish, Portuguese, Czechish, Slovak, Romanian, Polish, Hungarian, Bulgarian, Arabic, Turkish, Cambodian, Malay, Indonesian, Thai, Vietnamese, Nepali, Laotian, Burmese, Mongolian, Indic, Bengalese, or Tamil. Please contact us at your earliest convenience. [What do I look like, a cash cow?]

Date: Tue, 28 May 2002 Subject: remove from "Star Wars: Attack of the Clones" ---------------------------- Please remove me from receiving updates every time somone responds on the message board for "Attack of the Clones". Your site sucks royal dick and I don't want to be bothered by the stupid clients that exist at your site. If you don't remove me from that list, my lawyer will be in contact with you. [Your attorney's in for a good laugh]

Date: Sat, 01 Jun 2002 Subject: Stella ---------------------------- I am sure that you get plenty of e-mails from women saying that they think you are cute. Well, I am a woman and I don't care about you either way. But I do want to say that Stella is HOT. I presume that she is on your personal page because you are a happy heterosexual couple. But if she wants to trade you in and experiment with a woman, I will stimulate her clit like you never have and never will be able to accomplish. I am, succinctly put, the best. [Stella was impressed by this one. Not tempted, however.]

Date: Tue, 04 Jun 2002 Subject: Filmtracks hurts me ---------------------------- Ever since I bookmarked your Filmtracks, I have had symptoms: * Limb jerking, punching and kicking during sleep * Daytime fatigue * Morning headaches, bloodshot eyes * Waking up feeling exhausted, and thirsty * Depression and lack of motivation * Irritability * Memory problems * Poor ability to concentrate * Poor motor skills * Excessive sleepiness during waking hours * ADHD symptoms (hyperactivity) * Severe sleep deficit * Trouble staying awake and falling asleep at inappropriate times, such as during work, school or while driving. How do I remove Filmtracks from my Favorites List? [I'm flattered that I can cause all of those symptoms!]

Date: Thu, 06 Jun 2002 Subject: Message for editors, Filmtracks.com ---------------------------- I wish to commend the editors of Filmtracks.com. My small aircraft can be HOT inside whenever the air conditioning goes on the fritz, like it did today, and lucky for me, I had copied your score reviews onto a laptop and I enjoyed reading them. It kept my mind off the heat. I was going to fire my maintenance officer when we landed in Atlanta, but your reviews put me in a better mood even with the heat. Keep up the good work! It you ever want a job in aviation communications, please contact me at my private cell number below. [Wow, now that one's borderline scary]

Date: Sun, 09 Jun 2002 Subject: Font ---------------------------- just wanted to let you know that the font on your page is the hardest font I have ever tried to read, it actually hurt my eyes so much that I had to leave your sight. Did you think that we are all midgets? [Do midgets really use smaller font sizes?]

Date: Wed, 19 Jun 2002 Subject: WAAAAAAAAAAAAHE Tulip ---------------------------- Yahweh: [burp!] [Oh, yeah babe!!]

Date: Wed, 19 Jun 2002 Subject: Christian, please read ---------------------------- Hi Christian, my name is Jessica. I read your film music reviews all the time and I love looking at your pictures and personal info. I'm so sick of all the damn single bars. I just hate all the bullshit that men feed me at the single bars. I just want to have a good man to share my bed with, and I want to share it with you! I have small, sensitive breasts. Some guys think that small breasts are no fun, but men don't know how fun they are until they play with mine! I love having sensitive nipples, it makes me so crazy. The girl on your "personal page" has smaller sized breasts, so I know that you are the kind of guy who appreciates breasts like mine. I live in Spokane, Wash, not too far from you. I need someone to play with, can I come to Missoula and let you help me? [Who else wants to bet that this person is an old hag?]

Date: Sun, 23 Jun 2002 Subject: permisson: usage of a soundtrack ---------------------------- Hello, I'm Francis and I like that song of "Basil Poledouris" of the album "Conan the Barbarian", It's called "The Horn OF Dagoth". I would like to use this track song at the start of my daughter's wedding. Is it ok if I use this soundtrack, or do you have any objections? If you agree, we would ofcourse put your name in the wedding program, but I don't know if you are the person I should mail for this... [Why are so many people using bizarre film music excerpts for their weddings?]

Date: Tue, 02 Jul 2002 Subject: Widowmaker ---------------------------- I have decided today that I won't kill you just yet. I will wait to see how you review K-19: Widowmaker and then decide. [How pleasant]

Date: Wed, 03 Jul 2002 Subject: huncback of notre dame ---------------------------- I really enjoyed watching the movie with my grandson who loved it as well. He asked, is there a real hunchback of notre dame? Is there? If there is, then why doesnt he just get plastic surgery? [The level of stupidity that prevails in the world today is truly staggering]

Date: Mon, 15 Jul 2002 Subject: Fakes... ---------------------------- To: Filmtracks.com, potential ally From: Callorhynchidae Amizilis There is something extremely wrong with every single person in this world. They seem to be part of a pointless simulation. "The Matrix" has portrayed this idea somewhat, yet we watch it and go back to our daily lives. Yet in this very life, underneath the seeming diversity in people's opinions, values, talents, and interests, there is something that makes everyone the same. It is as though this planet is populated only by mindless fakes, objects that provide the appearance of intellect on the surface but are based on only mechanical reflexes and primitive thought patterns. I don't really care if anything I say has been said before, if it was portrayed in movies, in books, or in the lyrics of some useless song. With 6 billion people covering the globe at any given time, thousands and thousands of years of written literature, probability dictates almost any combination of words has occurred numerous times. Yet there is clear evidence there was no action, so those words, just like the people who spoke them, must have been just more fakes. I am forced to use this language (also created by the fakes) because there is no alternative, so everything I write here could be misunderstood to make me sound like one of them, but it will be the action that I take and the dedication that will separate me from them. In my estimation the fakes that occupy this planet don't make up 99%, but more like 99.9999999% of the population. I know this because I've searched, and in my search have so far only found one true ally (I have found him via the internet as well). But even with those numbers we would not give up because there is no logic in giving up. The people on this planet are all fakes because the societies have made them this way. Ideas that populate people's minds have no logic or purpose. Concepts such as religion, god, morality, individualism, freedom, identity, happiness, love and billions of others are all just memes. Like parasites they infect the minds and spread from one person to the next. They have no point or purpose; they exist without any logical basis or foundation. The fakes are completely controlled by them, and they will never see beyond them. To not be controlled by them one must do more then just realize that they exist. One must resist any ideas that have no point, endlessly question, and never accept imperfection or compromise in any answer. We (myself and my ally) are different though. While we have had the limitation of existing only in these societies, something has made it possible for us to resist being indoctrinated into becoming one of those fakes. We have no arbitrary wants, needs, desires, sexual inclinations or preferences. If this world continues to exist the way it is then nothing in it will ever have a point. It will always be just a product of random evolution, one with no importance or relevance. The only logical goal is to dedicate our lives to increasing our numbers, those that aren't fakes, so that in thousands of years our numbers may be such that the fakes would no longer be a threat to progress. Those that join us must see every other person occupying this planet as the enemy, and us as their only allies. Like us they must have dedication only to taking the most logical action, and to nothing else. To tell you more about us, we've posted some personal information about ourselves on a website. You'll also find past responses to us on that webpage. Obviously anyone reading this email is most likely just another fake. Do not simply reply to this email, if you do your message will almost certainly be ignored. If you do wish to communicate, first demonstrate your interest by taking the effort to find us online, one of the ways to do that is described below. Use a major search engine to search for every combination of any two words from the list below. The order of the words shouldn't matter as long as you do not search for them in quotes, but generally it should be clear what words can go together and in what order. Also when you pick the right combination you shouldn't need to look at more then the first matches. There are actually at least 7 (or more) different combinations and websites you can find by searching this list. The one you should contact will clearly say it is the 'communication' page and will have three forms to fill out. Mention what sites you did find, the more effort it seems you took the more likely we would believe in your dedication. There is no trick to this and this isn't meant to be quick, it should, however, be fairly clear if/when you find the right site. The following search engines were verified by us, please use any of them as other search engines may simply not list us correctly: Yahoo, Google, InfoSeek, Lycos, MSN, LookSmart, HotBot, InfoSpace, Ask.com, AllTheWeb, Teoma, WebCrawler, AltaVista, AOL Search, Netscape Search, Dogpile. perfect pointless theory endless desire defiance eternal wants logic competitive driving perpetual competition impartial vision logical meaningless teenage infinite dream final impotence best escape fury objective purpose thought indoctrination only ambition clue view perfection If this can't be solved, or if you never reach us, there should be no reason for you to give up as we will never give up and thus there will always be some way to find us. [I suspect that the fakes constitute my local government. Explains a lot]

Date: Thu, 18 Jul 2002 Subject: Totally inappropriate, sick, and perverted in every way! ---------------------------- The following words were posted at your site, Filmtracks.com: > "Everyone knows that the Hobbits were all engaging in mass inbreeding and > homosexual cluster fornication. Howard Shore would have been wise employ dueling > banjos in his score for the motion picture." I have never seen a movie site so filled with perverted commentary as this Filmtracks.com! No matter where you go, you read literature about filthy subjects, inappropriate remarks by visitors, and worst of all, disgraceful opinion essays by YOU (the editors) denouncing the savior Jesus Christ. You should be sued for indecency, poor judgement of character, and for allowing discussion about sex, nudity, and other topics of perversion to continue here! What is next? Naked pictures of yourself on the site? Please, either close down these disgusting message areas or CLOSE DOWN THIS SITE! [Topics of perversion, eh? Such as... THIS PAGE!?]