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TLDR: Check out Benedetta if you haven't voted yet.
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• Posted by: AhN   <Send E-Mail>
• Date: Tuesday, February 1, 2022, at 3:14 p.m.
• IP Address:
• In Response to: My Top 10 And Year-End Write Up, Rambles, And ... (Riley KZ)

First, congratulations on snagging the longest post on the new board. Which I may pass you on.

> At the end of 2020, I don’t think too many of us would have actually
> thought 2021 would somehow be worse. Like, wow. Holy shit, eh?

Objectively, I can't say it was worse, but...well, we'll get to that.

> Course, we’ll get into long-winded navel-gazing rambles eventually. For
> right now….MUSIC! Well, kinda.

> As a couple people have already mentioned, most recently and awesomely
> sourly Jack, 2021 was a, at best, a divisive year when it came to
> discussing the quality of the scores. I was loud and adamant 2021 was the
> worst year for film music since I began listening, though I think in the
> end it was more so 2021 was the worst year for me being able to connect to
> my constant, life-long passions, film music being the primary one.

> I really did feel, for a while there, my favourite kind of music was
> leaving me behind, and I just wouldn’t be able to enjoy the new stuff as
> much as I used to. Luckily, the year’s last 2-3 months didn’t just pick up
> its socks, it bent down, coughed, and yanked to high heaven.

I lost track of this metaphor halfway through.

> Anyhoo….first off, the top 10, then my COTY pick, then the runner ups,
> thennnnnn the endless personal rambles for some skim-reading on the toilet
> for ya. I’m skipping “worst scores” this year; not because some people
> complain about it and refuse to be so negative, but because very few bad
> scores this year I actually sat through. Most of the time, if I was bored
> or pissed off by the halfway mark, I just said “adios muchachos” and that
> was that.

Good, that's healthier haha. I don't bother ranking/rating scores that I hate or leave with no impression of, even if I stick it out.

> 1. Rumble – Lorne Balfe

> There was a lot of things about 2021 that surprised me. And the thing that
> surprised me the most had nothing to do with the world’s reactions to
> needles or how many people showed up to see the ghost of JFK Jr. wander
> around in Houston. It was that Rumble didn’t get ALL THE LOVE FROM Y’ALL.
> Score was an absolute delight from beginning to end, containing the
> rambunctious fun and energy of Steamboy with the silly, happy-to-be-here
> thematic glory of Chicken Run. On first listen I thought “Well, that was
> the best Trevor Rabin score I’ve ever heard that wasn’t composed by him”.
> On third and fourth listens, I thought “Wait, how is this not getting as
> much praise as John Powell’s stuff???” Seriously, its that fucking fun.
> It’s the only score this year I easily picked up on not just one recurring
> earworm of a theme, but several. It’s a joyful experience, something the
> universe desperately needs right now.

It was fun! You'll probably bully me into hearing it again sometime lol.

> 2. Army of Thieves – Hans Zimmer and Steve Mazzarazo

> Like Rumble, my two faves of the year were both completely unexpected (I
> almost skipped Rumble completely after seeing the album cover, and this
> one took me a while to get to after being so disappointed with No Time to
> Die and Dune). Also, I think the primary reason I loved them is purely
> because of an infectious, addictive, giddy joy. Army of Thieves doesn’t
> care if it irritates you or makes you shake your head; it’s just having a
> jolly good time, with some terrific themes, catchy electronic work, fun
> action set-pieces, and a general, quirky tone of “don’t give a shit” like
> Zimmer’s Sherlock Holmes scores (best evidenced with the trippy yodelling.
> Like, what the hell?!). Came out of nowhere as a big, undervalued, deeply
> entertaining surprise.

Wow, I could say the exact same thing about Tom and Jerry wink Speaking of Lennertz...

> 3. Lost in Space Season 3 – Christopher Lennertz

> Well, hey, at least we can finally talk about a score most people seem to
> generally agree with. Season 1 was in my top 10 of that year, I believe,
> but for some reason I never returned to it, and I can’t even remember if I
> listened to Season 2.

Hahaha this is literally me, I can't remember if I heard S2. Guess I should go back and listen.

> Stupid, stupid, stupid, because clearly there was a
> wealth of quality in these scores, and some of the stuff in this third
> album are among the best, old-school, orchestral adventure writing I’ve
> heard in years. Lennertz nails everything; the drama, the excitement, the
> awe. It’s bloody excellent.

Damn right, part of why he's composer of the year, right? Well, that and he fought a bear!

> 4. To What Remains – Joseph Trapanese

> I tend to really dig ambient scores when they’re pleasant, relaxing, and
> mellow. This is that pick of the year, a subdued yet beautiful score that
> actually had a recurring primary theme play throughout, which is a big ol’
> gold star in my books. So far all I’ve seen are shrugs and yawns when
> associated with this sucker, and I guess I understand – certainly there’s
> no cue that’ll make you leap out of your seat or pump your fists. It’s
> just mellow, moody, and gorgeous; a perfect album to put on late at night
> when you need to work but your baby is sleeping in the room next door.

Hmm, haven't heard of this even. I'll probably listen to it in 2030 when we exchange decade lists again and we'll both be pleasantly surprised at how much I dig it.

> 5. Master of the Universe – Bear McCreary

> So the first album came out, what, half a year ago or something?

Half a year, 90 years, who knows at this point.

> 6. Benedetta – Anne Dudley

> A super last-minute addition that I very much wanted to listen to again a
> couple times before placing it on here, but now I just wanna post this
> write up cause it’s taking me too damn long so I’ll put it at #6 and
> caller a day. Gorgeous yet dark, beautiful yet slightly twisted, with some
> of the best use of choirs I’ve heard in a very long time. The first couple
> cues alone were some of the musical highlights of the last two or three
> years for me, and if it had stayed on that path it might’ve been my #1 or
> #2 choice (some of the darker, more Gothic horror stuff didn’t appeal to
> me as much). Excellent album.

I'm here to cosign this. I need more listens and don't know if it would make my top 20, but it's good enough that I'm mad it came out after I posted my list. Gorgeous choir and some Shore-like writing in places. Good stuff.

> 7. Maya and the Three – Tim Davies and Gustavo Santaolalla

> 8. The Last Duel – Harry Gregson Williams

> Has there been a single review of this score, regardless of length, that
> hasn’t mentioned Kingdom of Heaven almost immediately?

*waves* The problem is I can never remember anything from Kingdom of Heaven besides the general sound.

> 9. Coppelia - Maurizio Malagnini

> What an eclectic, wonderful mesh of music this is! A ton of it made me
> think of an epic ballet, other stuff sounded like Patrick Doyle romance,
> others reminded me of Max Richter’s electronica. An odd duck, for sure,
> but I can see how it’s gotten so much praise, because who cares if there’s
> multiple styles of music if each style is done with so much care and
> intelligence? Damn good work – let’s cross our fingers that Malagnini’s
> next project is some massive Marvel flick or something, and we can really
> see the guy get out and play.


> 10. Black Widow – Lorne Balfe

> So before Benedetta dropped Silent Night down a notch, Balfe was the first
> composer since, like, the days of James Horner who had three scores in my
> top 10 (which…Ok, might say more about 2021 than Balfe, but whatever).
> Black Widow’s album also suffers from being too long, but it contains one
> of the year’s best themes (one I actually prefer hearing in the quieter
> dramatic cues than the big stuff) and tremendous action tracks. One of the
> best Marvel scores I’ve heard in years.

"Years" being 3, of course, because I assume you wouldn't libel Black Panther like that big grin

> And the runner ups:

> 11. Silent Night – Lorne Balfe

> Here’s how I knew I liked this sucker more than I expected; the day after
> I heard it, I wanted to listen to it again. That doesn’t happen very often
> with new scores -- even something as wickedly awesome as Rumble takes a
> few days afterwards to get past the sugar rush and giver again. But
> there’s something to Silent Night I can’t quite put my finger on…something
> haunting, kinda mysterious, beautiful and moody and still oddly
> Christmasy. Really dug it.

Interesting. Maybe because it was one of the last scores I checked out before setting my short list, but I really didn't care either way for this one. Liked Marianelli's Boy Called Christmas slightly more.

> 12. To Olivia – Debbie Wiseman

> Gorgeous thematic score that I listened to quite a lot in the beginning of
> the year. Romantic, gentle, and lovely; what’s not to like? Stick this
> sucker in when the sun is shining and the breeze isn’t blowing your entire
> house on to its side and you’ll find yourself smiling for half an hour
> straight.

I will say, considering how long you went on about this being your top score and how despondent that made you, the fact that it didn't even make your top 10 is pretty impressive.

> 13. Eternals – Ramin Djawadi

I think we both had a Djawadi score at 13th? Just different ones haha. But yeah, that theme is a banger.

> 14. The Curse of Tarandot – Simon Franglen

> 15. Gunpowder Milkshake – Frank Ilfman

> I avoided this one almost all year (despite reading all your posts and
> reviews; I was joking when I posted about not seeing all of that, dang it
> folks haha). I think the only reason I took so long was because of the
> title and I kept hearing “Morricone-style”, which made me think it would
> be a parody or comedic score.

Nah, just that one cue where they pull the chanting from Fistful of Dollars haha

> 16. The Champion of Auschwitz – Bartosz Chajdecki

> 17. Me and My Fathers – Gordy Haab

> 18. La Panthere des Neiges – Nick Cave and Warren Ellis

Several I didn't hear.

> 19. Wrath of Man – Chris Benstead

> If this was a 35 min score, just focusing on that surprisingly effective
> earworm of a main theme, then this would be in my top 10 for sure.
> Certainly it’s the score I found most effective in context, really giving
> the movie a tragic underbelly it wouldn’t have had without it. The album
> is waaaay too long and littered with unpleasant drones, but that
> theme….damn, I love that theme. Dark, atmospheric, moody, and shockingly
> catchy – pare this sucker down to half an hour, and it’s a (depressing)
> winner.

Oh yeah. I think this makes 8 or 9 (maybe more) overlap we have in our top 20s. Maybe a record?

> 20. The Choice II – Khaled Al Kammar

> And some other stuff I liked this year…

> Arctic Tale – Alex Heffes
> The Ice Road – Max Aruj
> Crisis on Infinite Earths – Blake Neely, Daniel James Chan, Nathaniel
> Blume, Sherri Chung, Keyser Soze
> Immortals Fenyx Rising (one of the albums that counts as 2021 and not
> 2020) – Gareth Coker
> American Underdog – John Debney
> Music Got Me Here – Stephen Endelman
> Fatherhood – Rupert Gregson Williams
> Red Notice – Steve Jablonsky
> Call of Duty: Vanguard – Bear McCreary
> Finch – Gustavo Santaolalla
> Syberia: The World Before – Inon Zur
> Raya and the Last Dragon – James Newton Howard
> Jungle Cruise – James Newton Howard
> Leonardo Vol. 1 – John Paesano
> A Boy Called Christmas – Dario Marianelli
> The Secret: Dare to Dream – George Fenton
> Come True – Electric Youth
> The Most Reluctant Convert – Craig Armstrong
> The King’s Man – Matthew Margnuson
> Spider-Man: No Way Home – Michael Giacchino
> Pig – Philip Klein and Alexis Grapias
> Son of the South – Stephen Arguila
> Cruella – Nicholas Britell

So...did you listen to Green Knight on its own? Because I may renege on the Matrix bet if you haven't.

Okay, I probably wouldn't do that bc honor. But I might! If it gives you the push you need, I might!


> Well…no shit, really. It wasn’t even a contest. Three of his scores in my
> (almost – Benedetta knocked one out at the last minute) top 10 with also a
> begrudging admiration for elements of Wheel of Time, Dopesick, and The
> Tomorrow War. Blew away every other contender, especially since JNH and
> Zimmer disappointed me as much as they excited me. Bear McCreary was
> probably the next closest pick but ultimately, nah…this was Balfe’s year.
> Dude fucking nailed it – and for three completely different scores in
> three completely different genre’s, well, that’s pretty goddamn
> impressive.

Given the list, yeah an easy call.

> And now, for the navel-gazing, endless ranty personal shit no one wants
> but dang it, I CAN’T STOP MYSELF mwuahaha.


Alrighty, here we go.

> I’m gonna succinctly address how 2021 felt in the form of haiku:

> The year was shitty
> Except for my baby
> I don’t know haiku.

Riley, my good man.
Second line needed one more.

> 2020 was rough, obviously. Roughest year I think most of us alive can
> remember. And yet, that year ended, for me at least, with hope. Vaccines
> were on the horizon. Trump didn’t win. Wife was pregnant but still
> healthy. We moved to a farm house, something she always wanted, and I
> didn’t have to deal with the douchiest neighbours and their demon dog
> anymore.

You know, I didn't expect every single one of these things to pay off later in the post (okay mainly I didn't expect the farm house bit to pay off), but each one did. A+ setup.

> Things were looking up! Hell, even my normally crotchety year-end write-up
> was trying not to pick fights or be all doom and gloom; at one point I
> said “I can’t be a critical ass anymore” (I think it was Bennett who wrote
> a hundred LOL’s to that, whoops) and even tried so hard to be the middle
> man and say “can’t we all have peace and be friends” that I even
> apparently defended Fox News and Trumpians (not my intention, of course,
> but that’s definitely how it came across).

I will say that while I shared your hope at the time, mine was maybe more in relief than outright hope. Like we were stopping the freefall but there was so much we still needed to fix and it was going to be an uphill battle. Don't know how different your mindset was but maybe the different expectations are what impacted our perceptions of 2021.

> And then, like, a week later were the Jan 6 riots. And then a month later
> I suddenly realized wait, not everyone wants the vaccine immediately? And
> many will actually fight against it to the point of losing jobs and
> families and dare I say their own health over it? And this will cause so
> many stirs and arguments and vicious, terrible fighting among strangers,
> friends, and families that just going to the grocery store or logging into
> Facebook will feel like I entered The Darkest Timeline?


> Well, then. So much for optimism.


> My baby was born in late March. It was spooky as all hell; you don’t
> understand fear until you have a child born during a fuckin pandemic with
> looters and rioters petitioning outside your window (yes, just a couple
> hours after my first baby was born and I was on cloud nine, an anti-masker
> yelled at me for being a sheep and wearing my mask. In a hospital). But
> just the idea of this hanging cloud over my head, I mean, I was already
> super scared of Claire’s health and my wife’s health, but being told
> there’s this killer cloud of viruses hanging around that could strike at
> any minute? No one could visit, everyone had to mask at all times, and the
> darn stinker was 2 weeks late to top it all off? Shat. My. Pants.

> Luckily, it all went fine, and knock-on wood she’s still healthy and happy
> and adorable. But has anyone else here started raising a brand-new skipper
> during all this nonsense? Fuck me. I didn’t realize just how shitty and
> tough it was going to be. Not just with trying to be polite about our
> wishes with friends and family, many of whom were or still are
> anti-vaxxers (luckily I have found that the majority very much respect our
> nervousness when asking to please wear a mask if you hold her for the
> first couple months…we just had to word it right and not offend them, and
> truth be told lots of them preferred not to hold her anyways just in
> case).

> No, I mostly mean how tough being a stay-at-home parent would be during
> lockdowns, restrictions, mandates, and a shitty ass virus that keeps
> coming back wave after wave. When the wife went back to work, I hadn’t
> realized how goddamn alone I would feel. Because when I always told her
> I’d be the stay-at-home parent and she’d be the working one, I also always
> assumed the world would be, y’know…normal. I could drop her off at
> daycares three days a week. I could bring her to friend’s houses and get
> visits and breaks. Take her to kiddie pools and play areas and all that
> shit.

> Guess how much of THAT exists during 2021? Next to freakin’ nothing.
> Daycares are too scared to bring in new kids, and I’m scared to put her in
> em (two of my very young nephews got COVID from their daycare, and it was
> a nightmare). Almost every time I’ve made plans to visit someone, they get
> sick and I have to stay home. Apart from my parent’s house and
> brother-in-law who lives nearby, I’ve seen zero friends and family since
> September. Just me. With a baby. Who refuses…to ever…fucking…nap.

I know everyone's sick of virtual stuff, but let me know if you ever want to have a video chat, just to have some social interaction. Won't even mind if you have to run off every 5 minutes for a baby emergency haha.

> I shouldn’t complain. She’s wonderful and healthy and that’s the most
> important thing. But it’s wearin’ on me, folks. Last year I admitted the
> COVID year basically made me become a full-fledged alcoholic with all the
> full and part time jobs being destroyed and the stress of everything. I
> also said I was encouraged because I knew I couldn’t maintain that once
> Claire was here. Well….unfortunately, turns out that didn’t happen at all.

> Cause now ,after an eight hour shift, sometimes the fourth in a row when I
> haven’t even left the house, booze is like a beautiful salvation at the
> end of the day. “Oh look honey there’s your mom TAKE HER PLEASE I NEED THE
> VODKA AND NINTENDO HOLY FUCK”. And then of course, my other full-time job
> is running my media business – right when I most need to relax, I often
> have to go out on a shoot or edit or post or plan or make calls etc. And
> half the time, to get through that, I feel like I need a few stiff drinks
> just to stay awake during it all. It’s scary how consistent and bad it is;
> recent blood work showed evidence of liver damage, and I really need to
> cut back or stop completely. But I don’t know if I can. I’m too goddamned
> stressed and, for lack of a better word, lonely as all hell.

That's scary stuff man, which I know doesn't help me to say, but please take care of yourself man.

> Plus, 2021 delivered another shiny loonie on the skid mark of life’s
> underpants – a brand new phobia, one that is actually so crippling I’m
> starting therapy for it next week. Turns out, I’m very, very afraid of
> mice. Didn’t know that, of course, until moving into this old frickin farm
> house. Just the sight of a dead one in a trap sets off my tourettes for
> 5-7 hours. The live ones, don’t even get me started. So now I’m not only
> stuck inside because leaving is dangerous for my kid or others, but I’m
> also stuck in a house I’m constantly terrified of being in. Fun times.


> Again, though, I know I shoudn’t complain.

Nah man. You can recognize your good fortune while still complaining and feeling however you feel about the stuff that's crap.


> I was whinier than usual this past year. And that’s probably saying an
> awful lot. I swear I don’t ever MEAN on doing it, or PLAN on being bitchy.
> I just…I dunno. It really felt like the arts were passing me by this year.
> I can’t tell you how many new movies and scores I got 15-20 mins in and
> then said…nah, I’m done. I’ve never been like that before. Especially when
> I had the weekly reviewing movies job, I always powered through and made
> sure I saw the whole flick before passing judgement.

> Now, with that one in the shitter, I found that I could suddenly
> just….turn off something that wasn’t speaking to me. And rapidly that bled
> over into scores, which used to be a very rare occurrence as well. Score
> listening time is now something of a commodity, something rare and
> frequently broken up into stops and starts. Before, I’d accumulate as many
> new scores as I could and power through them on a daily basis; when I had
> an actual 8-5 job as an editor, I’d power through 10 scores a day, easy.
> Last couple months I’ve been lucky to hear half of one every day or two.

> And I think all of that affected my love of the arts, plus probably a
> general apathy and furious anger directed towards my fellow men out there
> in this good world

I don't really know what to say other than that's understandable and maybe natural. But yeah, it sucks to feel that investment/love slipping.

> (have I mentioned yet how many times people have come
> to my house and gotten mad at me for not signing an anti-vaxx petition?
> And how one of them flat out said I was a bad father and destroying the
> country for my kid? Which was also, unironically, a couple weeks after a
> bunch of them sat outside the local grocery store coughing on anyone
> walking in with a mask on? So stupid; the grocery store is literally right
> beside the police station. It didn’t last long, but man it pissed me off.
> Rural, right-wing towns have become very interesting, to say the least.
> And yes, I know not all freedom of choice advocates or anti-vaxxers are
> like that, and many are perfectly polite through all this. I’m just sayin’
> that down here, it’s been rough).

Seriously, just tell the picketers to piss off. Maybe threaten them or something? After all,
"Out in the country, everyone's packing?"
"Oh yeah? Like who?"
"Who else?"
"Farmers' mums."

> Whatever the reason, I’d listen to new stuff, or watch new stuff, and just
> felt….nothing. Then I’d go rewatch Goodfellas or Face/Off or relisten to a
> Rabin or a Horner or a pre-DK Zimmer, and I’d just feel so much dang
> better. This is the first time in my life I sought out way less fresh art
> (as in, even old stuff I hadn’t experienced before) and continually just
> kept focusing on the same things that comforted me, over and over again. I
> literally can’t tell you how many times I watched Moneyball, Rope,
> Glengarry Glen Ross, Molly’s Game, and Margin Call this year (talky
> screenplays comfort the heck out of me, not sure why).

Nah, I get it. West Wing has become a comfort food for me at times, though maybe that's more craving competence porn than the snappy dialogue.

> I also can’t tell you how many times I re-listened to stuff that aren’t
> even necessarily my ultimate faves, but I just kept going back to when
> stressed, like Badalementi’s The Straight Story. I think that had more
> plays than anything else in 2021 for me, and I can’t really understand
> why, except…it felt good?


> This is a long way around the fuzzy puddle to somewhat apologize for my
> downer and cantankerous behaviour. It probably crossed the line a few
> times into “seriously, dude, shut the fuck up, I enjoyed No Time to Die
> just fine”. Everything felt off this year, even with my heart exploding on
> a daily basis from baby snuggles. Luckily, as I mentioned, the last three
> months were fantastic for music, just a constant stream of really good
> scores that may become ultra-favourites someday, who knows. Gave me a bit
> of hope, at least.

> Oh, yeah…


> I don’t know if I’ve ever written one of these self-serving,
> way-too-much-info year-end posts without complaining about the lack of
> themes, or how nothing sounds like it used to, etc. So yeah….would I like
> to repeat that? Sure. I still think too many producers, directors, and
> studios these days limit their composers to how much old-school melodrama,
> romance, and orchestral adventurous thematic wonderfulness can be in a
> modern score (particularly in Hollywood; listen to Craig and Jon, they’re
> onto something with international scores. Just a shame I can find so few
> of them).

Going to continue to stand on my soapbox that mainstream scores are doing just fine, though there is tons of phenomenal music coming out of every corner of the world (or at least the corners that make films and television?).

> But I dunno….at the end of this year here, when so much other shit is
> going on, I guess whining about the overabundance of dissonance in Dune is
> kinda like being cold and complaining that my sweater is itchy.

You lost me on this metaphor too.

> (Having said that, it definitely helps when it’s a year like 2020, and
> within the first couple months we saw some masterpieces like Call of the
> Wild and Way Back (damn rights). Cause then the dry spell didn’t keep
> going and going of “oh my god, why is nothing clicking for me?” Stuff
> already HAD clicked for me, so it felt a little easier to deal with).

Maybe the problem is we keep treating every year as a discrete thing with its own start and finish instead of a continuous thing? Idk where I'm going with this, but like what's the difference between WW84 being a great closeout to 2020 and a couple months later 2021 is terrible?

> I still wonder, and worry, about the future of film scores. Especially now
> that the industry is in a complete shit-show wack-a-mole. Will every TV
> show score now all contain 8 hours worth of albums?

It feels like 2 volume albums are becoming the norm, though it certainly feels like a lot of this is at the discretion of the composer.

> Or what if movies
> primarily get so focused on streaming, many studios just say “ah fuck it,
> no one buys instrumental music”, and we suddenly get way less albums
> released of our favourite thing?

That seems...unlikely? Score releases have probably never been a significantly profitable branch of movies, outside of your obvious exceptions.

> When something as massive as THIS changes
> a huge industry, every single facet gets impacted. I do feel incredibly
> hopeful that my fave score of the year, Rumble, was basically composed and
> recorded in a million different lock-down, social-distancing parts; it
> sounds great, and you can’t hear any compromises (unlike, say, Godzilla vs
> Kong).

> But man…I dunno. I can’t argue or disagree when people wax nostalgic for
> the kinds of scores and movies we “used” to get. I also can’t really fight
> back when people disagree and say there’s all sorts of great music these
> days.

It's just different now. Not inherently better, not inherently worse, different.

> Always will be, just…different, and from different places.

Wow I should have read one more line down.

> Like
> Craig’s post compounded, old timey Hollywood style music is all over the
> place, but it’s definitely a stinger that it’s not always coming from
> Hollywood films; the small few of his fave scores for this year I’ve been
> able to find showcase that problem. We all can’t be part of IMFCA haha.

Lol that part's fair.

> A few months ago, before a bunch of excellent stuff suddenly kept popping
> up, I posted that I was worried I was losing the love for new film scores.
> Jon mentioned I might just be a glass half empty kind of pessimistic
> person, and that’s quite possible. I wasn’t trying to be a bummer; I was
> legitimately worried on how things were going, even though I complain
> about that apparently every year (don’t go deep diving on this Ahn, you
> cheeky fucker, I know I do it!).

I mean, even for all your grumbling, something felt off to you, moreso than normal, and there's no discounting that feeling.

> Luckily, I don’t feel that scared or
> spooked like I did back in the summer. For film scores, that is…


> To go back to “the world overall” for a few seconds…I don’t know if I’ve
> ever felt as unsure about the future, even just the next 12 months, as I
> have right now.

Not really the point you're getting at, but 2022 is the first year where I don't have a clear sense of where's I'll be at the end of it. So that's not helping lol.

> I think yes, in a way, we’ll all soon start to feel some normalcy return.
> COVID’s not going anywhere, but by most accounts it does seem like we’ll
> have the risks lowered so that it can be treated just like a normal shitty
> flu. Omnicron has been a miserable bitch, infecting a good 70% of my
> closest friends and family in the last month alone (vaxxed and unvaxxed
> alike; though I must be honest with my own personal experiences in that
> the only ones that had to go to ICU were the latter).

Yeah, and it seems like most of my friends who've been sick recently did alright, partially because they had their vaccinations.

> But the fractures that have occurred; the broken friendships, the damaged
> families, the strained relationships and all around feelings of “fuck you
> man”….I just don’t see those repairing too quickly or easily. This wasn’t
> a matter of someone you love voting for Trump, where you could just brush
> it off as “well you’re brainwashed, let’s talk again in four years when
> he’s in jail for inciting an insurrohhhh never mind”.

Yeah that stuff's been years, decades in the making. Everything related to that is some of the scariest stuff for me, like I don't know how we get back to connecting with people when the things leading to this point of estrangement and living in different realities have been in motion for so long.

> Cause man, shit got PERSONAL this year. It’s one thing to disagree with
> someone, but to honestly think that friend of yours is damaging the entire
> country, or that family member blatantly not giving a shit about keeping
> you healthy…that stuff stings, and stings long.

> I keep thinking about that, and keep wondering when the turning point will
> be. Because clearly, we’re never gonna have the easy resolution of “I told
> you so”. Not with this. Any quote unquote victory for EITHER side of this
> issue will forever be met with “fake news, that’s not what’s really
> happening”. So we may never get the clear cut endings to this, unlike with
> other things when time usually mellows and truths come out. That may never
> happen here.

Is there something in particular you're thinking of where that's how things resolved?

> So….what do we do? This is an open-ended question, because I’m genuinely
> curious what people around here think. For over a decade now I’ve come
> here on a daily basis to inquire your opinions on music and movies and
> Edmund’s schlong, so now I come to ask – how do you think we can repair
> the damages done this year to our friends, our families, our business
> associates, the people we work with, our clients, our kids, etc? Because I
> doubt any of you can honestly say there hasn’t been at least one person
> you’ve cut out or had to ignore in your life because they shared vastly
> different opinions than you (especially oversharing, every fucking day, on
> Facebook).

I honestly don't know. Aside from maybe bringing down facebook's and fox news's servers, I don't know. Even if that suddenly happened, it'd be a long process of reconnecting and talking and slowly reconciling things.

> I’ve long hated social media, but 2021 proved to me it’s probably a cancer
> on this earth. Which is sad, because technically speaking something like
> the Scoreboard counts as such, and I wouldn’t trade this place for damn
> near anything. But when I have friends I’ve known and loved my entire life
> saying they don’t want to see me ever again because I re-posted someone’s
> satirical Facebook thing comparing freedom of choice methodology to
> refusing winter tires….I just gotta wonder if this social media shit has
> ever been worth it.

Here's the thing: there's no social engineering at work in this place. It's just an open forum with no moderation. There's no algorithm running to put certain posts in your feed or not. It's everything, chronological. You can game the system to get more views by making your subject line "Edmund LOVES My BOUNCIN' TIDDIES," but there's no algorithm to push that into view again and again once it's slipped past the front page. The goal on other social media is maximum engagement, maximum sharing, maximum interactions, and they've realized the emotions that drive all that the best are fear and anger. So everything is inflammatory. It would take some serious introspection and reformation on the part of those companies to revise the algorithm to not value "engagement" over all else.

> Looking ahead I see another year of confusion, anger, and convoy’s. And
> that sucks. But at the same time, I see my little girl growing up, I see
> us maybe moving out of this scary as fuck mouse house, I see my therapy
> sessions hopefully helping with the phobias and the addictions, I

I was going to say I hope you're seeing someone given, well, everything you're dealing with. Glad to see it.

> have….yeah, I have some optimism (watching Shawshank again last night
> might’ve helped). I’d just like some advice from you folks on how you’re
> planning on dealing with not just a post-COVID world, but a
> post-fightaboutvaxxandfreedoms world.

Use my platforms to share important information to the friends who I'm not arguing about this stuff with, and try to talk to people offline about it. But also, don't know how that'll play. And maybe I've got the privilege in my area of work and where I live that my interaction with people like that is lower., idk.

> For example - my uncle was a hardcore anti-vaxx, anti-mask, COVID is a
> fake virus invented by Justin Trudeau to control us person. He got COVID
> and didn’t tell anyone for two weeks until the hospital finally told him
> he was quite possibly going to die and absolutely needed to let at least
> one family member know about it. Even then, he texted us telling us it
> wasn’t COVID at all and the doctors were trying to kill him. My dad’s a
> doctor. My wife’s a vet (who was giving COVID vaccines, supplied from a
> branch of Pfizser, for several years to cows and dogs before the pandemic
> began. Weird how THAT is never pushed on Facebook). So those kind of
> attitudes really offended them. I still haven’t talked to my uncle, other
> than sending him an unreplyed email saying I was happy and grateful he
> finally got released from the hospital a month later. But apart from
> that…I don’t know what to say, really. None of us do. Because as soon as
> he got released he went back to his church saying it was all fake and the
> medical community is trying to brainwash and kill us all (according to my
> other uncle who went with him that is).

> That’s the kind of thing I mean about coming back from all this. Five
> years down the road when (hopefully) all this shit is a memory, I don’t
> want to still be thinking about that when I see him, and I don’t want him
> to be thinking about how we reacted or scolded or insulted or however he
> feels now either. I used to really believe that people were inherently
> good and caring, and I very much want to continue thinking that. So for
> you all – people I’ve barely met but care about a silly amount, who I
> think are the definition of inherently good (apart from the collective
> shrugs about Trevor Rabin, but whatever) – what’s your tactic? Genuinely
> curious to hear your thoughts on moving forward.

Are you asking, what say we all?

That's a really tough situation with your uncle. Idk how close he is geographically, but I wonder how much of his attitudes have been influenced by a sense of social isolation irl. Talking to him face to face, having that regular interaction might be the way to go, just to slowly rebuild that channel of communication before you start nudging him back to reason. I don't know if you'll make much headway without finding a way to cut off some of his sources of misinformation. Wish I had something more concrete to suggest. You're also only responsible for that up to a certain extent. If the efforts you're making are not worth the added stress on you and your immediate family, there's no rule against cutting him out of your life. Which would be painful on all sides, but if that's the best option for your well-being, you don't need to feel some obligation to keep him in your life just because he's family.


> Annnnnyways, I better get goin’. Normally I like writing all my year end
> write ups all at once, but of course now this thing has been broken up
> into a week and a half worth of writing whenever I get a moment’s chance,
> so who knows how all over the place it was.

This is how I write mine, and it's why mine end up super long even if I don't intend for it, because I'm thinking of what to say over a long time haha.

> But I’ll end it by saying
> this:

> 2021 gave us some very good music. It took a bloody long time, but it
> eventually got there. My apologies for spending most of the year bitching
> and waiting for that turn around, and my thanks for sticking with me and
> pointing out/recommending as often as you all do.

> Thanks to Clem for the great site and community (and new reviews, holy
> shizzah! He’s rockin it!). Thanks to Craig for always putting these year
> end things together as well as sending me some wonderful suites of
> international music. Thanks to everyone contributing to the Board with
> year end lists, I absolutely love reading everyone’s write ups. And thanks
> to all my Scoreboard buddies, both the ones I’ve known for ages and
> constantly drop the ball with when it comes to helping with troll accounts
> and sending Christmas messages, as well as the new ones that showed up
> this year to be properly Rabin-ized, as I like to call it.

> Love ya all, good luck with 2022. We need it.

Much love Riley, great post, glad to have you around.

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