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 Christian Clemmensen
 • Posted by: George Zimmer, President and CEO of The Men's Wearhouse
• Date: Tuesday, November 17, 2009, at 9:33 a.m.
• IP Address:
• Now Playing: My historic commercials

Hi, I'm George Zimmer, President and CEO of The Men's Wearhouse.

I was taking an evening stroll down the street in one of my finely tailored Tommy Hilfiger navy plaid suits and saw Clemmensen walking towards me. My beef hammer called for sweet relief and strained against the zipper of my Joseph Abboud navy slacks. I am a man among man, living everyman's dream, and I could not take this punishment any longer. So I carefully unfastened my Pronto Uomo black Italian leather belt, swung out the monolithic man meat God bestowed upon me, and knocked Clemmensen into a dumpster in a nearby alley. I then proceeded to part my Joseph & Feiss Ecru fitted dress shirt and ram my big and tall man salami into his tight bung hole. The stench of his unwilling and dirty rectus magnificus was soothed by the lathering of Kenneth Cole Reaction Cologne I had used to bathe my drillosaur earlier in the night. Before my charcoal lambswool scarf became soiled on the oily surroundings and before the punishment of my thirty pound man hammer could damage Clemmensen permanently, I finally shot my special blend of polonious nut napalm flavored butter. Then I used my extra large wrecking balls to smash a hole into the wall of a building and escaped into the darkness.

If Clemmensen could have seen himself that night, he would have loved the way he looked. I guarantee it.

The Men's Wearhouse

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