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  Best of the Filmtracks Scoreboard! - November, 2002  
 
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 • Posted by: Brendan Anderson and Nate U
• Date: Saturday, November 30, 2002, at 9:00 p.m.
• IP Address: adsl42.mpls.uswest.net


That's right scoreboard fans, start salivating for this is the time of the month (well, I'm a couple hours early, but what the heck) that we all gather around and regret all the stupidity we've caused over the last month...or maybe we celebrate it. Either way, We've got a bucket full o' quotes and we're going to dump them all here, uncensored and ready to go. We can only hope that this Christmas season might bring us even more INSANITY. So without further delay:

The Best of the Filmtracks Scoreboard!

And yes, you will actually see some breast.
-Bobettechaude

I guess so...but she's like.....my cousin
-Nate U

If you're going to promise porn in your title, then you've got to deliver.
-Brendan Anderson

Nah, there's no porn. But there's candy!
-Bobettechaude

Oh, fornicate Filmtracks!
-Jens Dietrich

Rated R for obscenity, disturbing displays of mental distress, and incitement on questioning your religion.
-C. Hook

Y'know, folks, this is the stuff that's the cause for erect nipples ...
-Christian Kuhn

Lady, drop that towel!
-Bobettechaude

Word.
-Bodhizefa

I HAVE such undies.....
-Christian Kuhn

I even made Saskatoon, Saskatchewan the birthplace of one of my childhood super-heroes I created.
-Smalltown Poets

You may be legally retarded.
-AC

Far from Heaven is practically orgasmic.
-Jens Dietrich

Looks like you can eat those cute lil' flowers too. Make you feel good, eh?
Wo0o0O0o00o0oo0Oo0O0zy!
-Peter

SAVE THE CHILDREN! And cats!
-Christian Kuhn

Well, well, look who poped in
-Daren

How are my CDs? Did you have a chance to "pope" them into a mailbox and send them to me?
-Jens

Any more bad puns and you won't be the only one who kills you.
-Zack Behrendt

What the shibber-ti-shabby is this?
-Christian Kuhn

Watch the language.
-Scorehawk

I put limitation rights on all versions of GOO. Double-Stampy, no retunsees! And don't even think of stealing my other combination words. Like Rambitious or Extramborie.
-Shane

...a video game TV-screen adjustment origen of your GOO in no way compares with my rat-boy social-skill-less tuba player GOO story. I mean really.
-Brendan Anderson

Do you have a portal into their soul?
-Nate U

This isn't a matter of taste or opinion... it's THERE.
-Smalltown Poets

Yes, indeed, it does kick major ass. 31 flavors of ass, in fact.
-Zack Behrendt

After losing countless valuable brain cells while trying to get a grip of your elusive logic, I now conclude that you are a pretentious ham.
-Jens Dietrich

I'd like to be able to hover a cake over my aunt's head.
-Chris Tilton

I forgot: Germans don't sneeze.
-C. Hook

You snotty-faced, stuffy-nosed git!
-Jens Dietrich

He's from Wisconsin, there's nothing he can do there. Nur Kühe zum Poppen (only cows to screw).
-Christian Kuhn

Are you trying to imply that I'm a nerd? That may well be, but at least I'm a sexy nerd.
-Jens Dietrich

Enough is enough. Here's a list of insults people can say to me: jackass, cow f***er (yay for altavista and their translate service), mother******, idiot, dumbass, etc... Fine, viva el freedom of speecha! But being told that I'm going to hell by some christian zealot...
-Bobettechaude

Since I am both a Roman Catholic and an atheist I am doubly offended.
-Jens Dietrich

Was it... Satan?
-Christian Clemmensen

Thanks for realizing.
-Jens Dietrich

My chair's making the funniest sounds... *skweaky* *skweaky* Ha ha!
-C. Hook

Author J.K. Rowling has successfully repackaged witchcraft in its most dangerous form yet -- children's fantasy literature. God states the practices of witchcraft are an abomination and expects His children to feel the same way. Yet we haven't had all the facts to take a stand and make a difference -- until now! Show your power: STOP HARRY POTTER with your "Holy Power" T-shirt! The Holy Power t-shirt, exclusive to the Christian Response Enterprises store, shows which side powers and influences your life.
-Phil Sheldon

Bible Man! Show your power, and, better yet, share it with your children. Better to have them combat each other with energy weapons than to have them pretending to be magicians...
-Zack Behrendt

Mister Blow is a strong family man. He married his own aunt Elizabeth to make sure that his noble blood stays in the family. And NO, Mister Blow doesn't suck!
-Bobettechaude

The above list fails to mention, however, that Perkins betrayed his wife and three children (at that time) by being caught with his penis rooting around in a young campaign worker during his last run for Senate.
-Stumpf T. Flood

Man, why do I always wander into depressing (albeit accurate) social commentary?
-Smalltown Poets

I'm thinking Bond On Ice would make a pretty damn good show...
-C. Hook

They have to shorten run-time so everyone doesn't barf their guts out.
-Ryan

Can you imagine the mess after listening to EatG ?
-Peter

I do know a few people who might be willing to donate a testicle or two...
-Austin

Watching a tide of horses run over invisible men corrupted by the power of a ring welded in a fiery volcano called Mount Doom reminded me of Dr. Nargothrond's awesome history lessons. He was quite old.
-C. Hook

I guess I'm Jerry Goldsmith, too. Blast, I wanted to be Elliot Goldenthal.
-Austin

"I don't want to be like everybody else."
"But I don't wanna be different."
"I just... want to be!"
... "desire... passion... obsession: Christian Kuehn."
-Kuhni’s underpants commercial by Jens Dietrich

It's Elfman's turn to sneeze and all I have to say is "God bless you, Danny".
-C. Hook

I think I'm going to just give Zimmer the credit for all the music I write too, because in the end it doesn't matter.
-Chris Tilton

Hook, soon to fetch another one from the Boingo library, stealing Cap's sign-off, and hoping no one has a relative named Kobe Lucas.
-C. Hook

I'm mentally deranged on so many levels...Yay for amputations!
-Bobettechaude

My middle finger got stuck in between the keys. Damn you bony anatomy of minerererererererererererererererer..r.. Ouch! There, it happened again!
-C. Hook

...you drimsel...
-Christian Kuhn

That was fun though, I really pissed you off
-Nate U

Hmmm...I've heard of C Flute, Alto Flute, Bass Flute, Crystal Flute, Wood Flute...but not the Lame Flute. Is it Polish or something?
-Brendan Anderson

It takes years of pratice to be a Bobettechaude
-Bobettechaude

But hey, look at poor little hot underwear down there....not one reply to his innocent little Zombie rant...but do you see him b*tching? No sir, He's got Zombies to eat
-Nate U

To keep this score-related: ... oh screw it
-Peter

ARGH! You shot me! *Kühni dies.....please play The Breaking of the Fellowship*
-Christian Kuhn

Tink! Phuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut!
-Peter

Have you ever laughed when playing the flute? It sounds like a enormous pig who got slapped on the behind
-Bobettechaude

I will have to re-evaluate my high opinion of your epigram-composition skills.
-Jens Dietrich

Can't comment. Why? *yells*'Cause I ain't heard Dick!!
-Mr. E

You're not my mom!
-Bobettechaude

It gives me great joy indeed to finally see the faces of Joel and Bryan.
-C. Hook

Adds John Blow, vice-president of Magic Toaster and father of four: "I fell down the stairs the other day and THE TOWERS saved my life. Thanks Howard Shore, if I hadn't wear the special edition cd as a hat, I'd be dead!
-Bobettechaude

If someone's lying flat, on his bed, then you can bet that he is DEAD!
-Christian Kuhn

Yes... I need medicine.
-Smalltown Poets

Hook, soon to fetch another one from the Boingo library, stealing Cap's sign-off, and hoping no one has a relative named Kobe Lucas.
-C. Hook

Where am I? The Friday Morning Cartoon Show?
-Christian Kuhn

An e-mail with a picture of me on top of 3 dangerously stacked boxes waving a weenie stick at a bunch of dressed up people in the middle of a giant stone building? Yes!
-Brendan Anderson

https://www.filmtracks.com/scoreboard/main.cgi?read=94475
-C. Hook

Dr. Pepper is, in fact, a delectable medley of exquisite sugar and superb flavoring, resulting in what can only be described as a sublime soft drink experience of extravagant splendor, an elexir of the heavens that has no equal. Truly, there can be only few greater pleasures or raptures in this or the next realm.
-Jens Dietrich

You're nuts about film music when... During sex, you sing at the top of your lungs "The Raiders March" without noticing how you just scared the **** out of your lover.
-Bobettechaude

Wel, I'm actually quite drunk so please erxcuse the typos.
-Jens Dietrich

And while we're on the subject, I'm sorry, but Tony Bennett got lost during "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" during last years Macy's Thanksgiving Parade last year
-JeffersonHall

Die Another Day doesn't sound directly like Oakenfold garbage. But it's just as insipid and unpleasant. It offends me in a similar way. It hurts my ears and my good taste in a similar way. It makes me want to break the cd in a similar way. Therefore, I dub them similar.
-Zack Behrendt

Unlike the screechy Violins, a Viola has warmer, more mellow and fuller sound. One which sooths and inspires whilst the Violin's squeek is likely only more tuneful for a sparrow. If sparrows are your thing, well than by all means do what you must. But I can assure you and every other human being who has ever existed in the universe that the Viola is a heck of an instrument, and it has been proven for countless years that it is a much superior music making device. No, it's not so much a device of music, but an agent of God.
-Nate U

Of course, when you download illegal MP3s, you are downloading Communism. So, anyway, Mr. Stalin, I, too, particularly enjoy this score... "Building the Crate" is the ultimate pick-me-up.
-Viola

That's illegal. Jesus would frown upon you. You are a spawn of SATAN as you
are promoting his evil ways.
-Chris Tilton

I must correct your correction, because you calling your correction a correction implies an error in my post.
-Southall

hold it steady....steady.....
-Nate U

Whatever makes its insertion more pleasant.
-C. Hook

Darn, I put in JNH's The Postman about five minutes ago, but I forgot to push the play button. Man, I'm getting old.
-Peter

As my friend and I told each other every day in 2001, "Dude, it's gonna be AWESOME!!!!" Well, we were referring to Warcraft III, and FOTR, but it's pretty much universal.
-a different Joe

So they killed her and threw her in the well, which really pissed her off or something
-Jens Dietrich

Well, she's a lazy and ungrateful child! You should sell her.
-Bobettechaude

No one is THAT ignorant.
-Chris Tilton

are you calling me a sissie?
-Shane

Wheeny little fan-boy...
-Christian Kuhn

Incredible, I too just consumed an excellent pizza
-Jens Dietrich

EDITOR'S NOTE: And now, a small sub-section I'd like to call, The Best of the Scoreboard Money Scams!

Militant workers stole hundreds of squash ghords and used the weight of the ghords to crush my father in a cement pit.
-Sam Johnson

All we have to do is to file claim using you as Seamus Harper's relative. It is not necessary that you look like him in any way.
-Tony5000.T

I was formerly a personal aide to one of the top ministers of by country. Then he became abusive and sexually tortured me. He dressed up like a freedom fighter and chased me while exposing his privates, which were also dressed like a freedom fighter.
-Ms. Lexie Zamuna

The rebels sprayed my late husband with 27 bullets in a street while he was walking with groceries home and he died instantly. On my way I was caught by rebels soldiers who then detained me in the rebel army camp for several months. They repeatedly tormented and filled me with their rotten seeds
-Mrs. Kobe Lucas.

I am Sodindo Running Bull, the first son of Tawanda Running Bull, the most popular Native American farmer in Zimbabwe. In fact a lot of people were killed because of this Land Reform Act for which my father was one of the victims. They tied his live body to a flag pole and summoned the lightning to set him afire with terrible electrical shock, and that happened.
-Sodindo Running Bull.

I represent a group of Nigerian investors who are trying to finance a score release of the Zimmer-song "The Ring." Due to tariff restrictions, we are unable to use our chief Nigerian monetary unit, the "rhino testicle." As a result, we are looking for kindly American/European investors to front $500,000,000.00 cash for this music score project.
-Mr. E

The final word? YIIIIIIIIIIKES!
-Christian Kuhn

--------------------------------------------------------------------

That's all for this month! Thanks to Nate for his generous contributions as always. See you all next month in the YEAR 2003!!

-Brendan, quotemaster general (but with no sissie uniform...Nate has to wear that. )



BrendanAnderson.com - no quotes....just notes...MUSIC notes.....



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