CLOSE WINDOW
FILMTRACKS.COM
PRINTER-FRIENDLY VIEW
Filmtracks Logo
Review of Vampires Suck (Christopher Lennertz)
Composed and Produced by:
Christopher Lennertz
Conducted by:
Geza Torok
Orchestrated by:
Andrew Kinney
Danail Getz
Brandon Roberts
Performed by:
The Hungarian Radio Orchestra
Label and Release Date:
Lakeshore Records
(August 31st, 2010)
Availability:
Regular U.S. release.
Album 1 Cover
FILMTRACKS RECOMMENDS:
Buy it... if you're still searching for the perfect sound for The Twilight Saga, ironically captured by Christopher Lennertz in this intelligent guilty pleasure of a parody.

Avoid it... if you simply can't disengage your brain long enough to appreciate the predictable and overblown reliance on cliches that saturates every moment of this easily digestible dessert.
FILMTRACKS EDITORIAL REVIEW:
Vampires Suck: (Christopher Lennertz) Given how ripe the teenage vampire genre's crown jewel, The Twilight Saga, has become for lampooning, it's surprising that veteran satire writers and directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer seem to have missed their opportunity to really impale the idiocy of that franchise with much skill in Vampires Suck. Then again, the 2010 comedy was trying to parody a concept that is inherently so laughably juvenile in its original form that perhaps their task was impossible. Defying as usual the absolutely horrid critical response that these films often receive, Vampires Suck made a brief splash at the box office and has earned about the average gross for past Friedberg/Seltzer comedies like Meet the Spartans and Epic Movie. The duo takes almost all of their characters and plot elements from The Twilight Saga, leaving most of the names and general events intact but incorporating a major gag into each scene. Continuing his collaboration with Friedberg and Seltzer is composer Christopher Lennertz, whose career has thankfully crept further into the mainstream after producing impressive music in relative obscurity over the better part of the 2000's. Emerging from his toils with television series and video games is a budding feature film career defined by comedy music for (sometimes very fiscally successful) titles like Alvin and the Chipmunks, Marmaduke, and Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, the latter two joining Vampires Suck as part of a busy 2010 summer season for the composer. His music for Meet the Spartans in 2008 is a guilty pleasure of the highest order, a work that continues to impress in its clever pokes at the topic's established sound. As always, the point of satirical scores like Meet the Spartans and Disaster Movie is to play the film as if it was completely serious, therefore advancing the effectiveness of each joke. This opens worlds of opportunity for any composer, allowing genre stereotypes in music to be exploited in all their glory without any worry of plagiarism lawsuits. Additionally, by bloating the genre's sound to nearly overblown proportions, an entertaining listening experience on album can also result. Such is the case with Vampires Suck once again, another score that requires you to turn off your brain to appreciate the fact that it's arguably more effective than the actual scores for The Twilight Saga. Whereas the rotating composers for those films have never been able to truly nail down the musical identity of the franchise, Lennertz does it for them with ease.

It didn't take an abundance of intellectual thought to accomplish this pinnacle of music for the concept, but then again, the franchise and its target audience aren't that musically sophisticated to begin with. But with creative attentiveness to audience expectations, Lennertz really did manage to write the best Twilight score for those who would appreciate it the most. It takes the contemporary, electric-guitar tones of Carter Burwell's original, incorporates the piano lyricism of Alexandre Desplat's sequel, and wraps them in the morbidly orchestral environment of Howard Shore's entry. Its constructs and instrumentation are wickedly appropriate for the topic, and much of this material could be tracked into the real thing without much audience unrest. It does have a downside, however, and it relates to an underpowered sound of the Hungarian orchestral players (especially compared to Debbie Wiseman's all-time favorite vampire spoof score, Lesbian Vampire Killers) and the need for dissonant stingers all the time to accompany sudden punch lines and funny shocks. Despite the deficiencies relating to the ensemble's depth, Lennertz and his crew do a good job of orchestrating the score and spreading its various sounds well enough in the mix to give the final result satisfying texture and attention to detail. The piano is in the forefront (as with Desplat) and electric guitar is used as a sound effect much like in Meet the Spartans. Little electronic whisps, xylophone, and cymbals join the ultra-cliche female vocalist in conveying a sense of wonder and fantasy. Acoustic guitar, contemporary percussive loops, enhanced electric bass, and lighter electric guitar performances lend a sense of coolness to the score. Solo string elements, seemingly electric at times, give the atmosphere a sense of demonic influence. Banging chimes and expansive brass represent the finality of young "Becca"'s choices. The thematic identities in Vampires Suck are dominated by its primary idea (presumably for Becca), stated early and often in many different guises. It receives fully symphonic force right off the bat in "What Would You Do?" and is reprised with even more gravity in "Becca Meets the Family" and "I'm a Killer." In the second half of the latter cue and in "First Kiss," "The Breakup," "Frank Comforts Becca," and "The Final Bite," Lennertz boils the theme down to solo piano backed by lush strings, guitar, or solo violin. While the expressions of this theme may not be as technically impressive as Desplat's music for the same concept, they are more easily digestible. A few secondary thematic elements meander through the score, led by a massive brass representation of the vampires in "What Would You Do?," "Race to Prom," and "Edward Exposed" and a softer idea on piano for Jacob in "Jacob's Crush."

With these ingredients, Lennertz offers a score that will sound similar to enthusiasts of Meet the Spartans, but with its two personalities largely divided between the front and back halves of the score. After the opening volley of action, Lennertz's lighter material for character flirtations and contemplations is extremely attractive, the piano and female vocals both alluring in the most simplistic sense. A soothingly flowing romantic motif/rhythm inhabits these early portions, best heard in "Chemistry in Class." The latter half of "Meet the Sullens," "Chemistry in Class," and parts of "I'm a Killer" (among others) present the female vocal solos in a manner even more beautiful that in Meet the Spartans or Lesbian Vampire Killers, taking the eeriness of the later two Scream scores' equivalents and putting an Enya-like spin on them. For comedic melodrama, Lennertz makes the crescendos of harmony in "First Kiss" and "The Breakup" seem to indicate cataclysmic events. The second half of the score contains the action, and this is where Lennertz's material becomes a bit generic and underpowered. Many of these cues would have sounded great had they been afforded the resounding depth that Wiseman was able to record for Lesbian Vampire Killers, because many of them have to rely upon brute force rather than instrumental colors. Group choral accents are surprisingly infrequent, especially after being featured prominently in the opening cue. Still, despite failing to retain as much interest as the romantic side of the score, the sustained action and stinger portions are adequate. As to be expected, perhaps, there are a few nuggets and in-jokes contained in the score that are worth mentioning. Lennertz references his theme to Meet the Spartans (intentionally or not) at about 0:22 into "Something Strange..." and, far more prominently, he uses "Sleepwalking" as a blatant parody of John Williams' Hedwig theme from the Harry Potter franchise. He spends an entire minute playing with the waltz-set progressions of the theme before outwardly expressing it on solo violin. Hints of this idea extend into the opening moments of "I'm a Killer," a good summary track of all the score's major thematic styles and a likely candidate to be nominated for an award as the best single cue of 2010. Also summarizing the score well is the album's conclusion, "The Final Bite," which leaves you with a whimsical restatement of the title theme and farewells from the all the pertinent solo elements. Overall, Lennertz reprises his superior parody skills for Vampires Suck and not only adds yet another guilty pleasure to film music collections (this time on a deserved commercial offering from Lakeshore Records) but also does what Carter Burwell, Alexandre Desplat, and Howard Shore have all failed to do: create the perfect sound for The Twilight Saga. And it once again proves that today's parody scores definitely don't suck.  ****
TRACK LISTINGS:
Total Time: 52:33

• 1. What Would You Do? (2:02)
• 2. Something Strange... (1:21)
• 3. Meet the Sullens (2:26)
• 4. Welcome to Sporks (0:44)
• 5. Chemistry in Class (2:41)
• 6. Attack on the Dock (2:00)
• 7. Edward Saves Becca (2:10)
• 8. Jacob's Crush/Self Defense (1:38)
• 9. Sleepwalking (2:44)
• 10. I'm a Killer (3:44)
• 11. First Kiss (2:27)
• 12. Driving and Chasing (1:29)
• 13. Becca Meets the Family (2:10)
• 14. The Breakup/Killing Jack (5:00)
• 15. Frank Comforts Becca (1:03)
• 16. Becca's Confrontation (1:40)
• 17. Testing Edward (1:23)
• 18. The Pack Arrives (1:17)
• 19. Antoine Torn to Shreds (1:10)
• 20. Becca is Dead? (4:04)
• 21. Race to Prom (2:01)
• 22. Edward Exposed (3:22)
• 23. Becca Must Become a Vampire (2:20)
• 24. The Final Bite (1:37)
NOTES & QUOTES:
The single-page insert includes a short note from the composer about the score.
Copyright © 2010-2024, Filmtracks Publications. All rights reserved.
The reviews and other textual content contained on the filmtracks.com site may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of Christian Clemmensen at Filmtracks Publications. All artwork and sound clips from Vampires Suck are Copyright © 2010, Lakeshore Records and cannot be redistributed without the label's expressed written consent. Page created 9/24/10 (and not updated significantly since).