When your untimely death arrives, don't be caught wishing you had resolved your transgressions when you are suddenly standing at the Pearly Gates. Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior or be denied the Kingdom of God!

Whether you know it or not, you are a sinner. Perhaps you don't molest collies or fondle yourself thirteen times a day, but it's still a proven fact that everyone sins. The smallest, most insignificant things: Profanity whispered under your breath; Eating the little piece of chocolate your mother told you not to; Calling your little brother a "f*cking pussy" while making him eat hard dog doo; Silently farting in a crowded elevator and giving the old woman next to you a stare of accusation; Masturbating with your little sister's Tickle Me Elmo doll...

These add up on God's great score card. Unfortunately, those with high scores go to HELL!

Send your burdens back to Hell where they belong!

> Masturbating with your little sister's Tickle Me Elmo doll...

I've never heard about that. Are you sure you don't need to repent yourself? Coming up with an idea like that rarely comes from a son of God.

> When your untimely death arrives, don't be caught wishing you had resolved
> your transgressions when you are suddenly standing at the Pearly Gates.
> Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior or be denied the Kingdom of God!

What's with you f*ucking religious idiots and your dumbass propaganda at Filmtracks? Go back to the vile pit you came from! Christianity is for stupid, fearful humans with no higher intellect.

> When your untimely death arrives, don't be caught wishing you had resolved
> your transgressions when you are suddenly standing at the Pearly Gates.
> Accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your Savior or be denied the Kingdom of
> God!

> Whether you know it or not, you are a sinner. Perhaps you don't molest
> collies or fondle yourself thirteen times a day, but it's still a proven
> fact that everyone sins. The smallest, most insignificant things:
> Profanity whispered under your breath; Eating the little piece of
> chocolate your mother told you not to; Calling your little brother a
> "f*cking pussy" while making him eat hard dog doo; Silently
> farting in a crowded elevator and giving the old woman next to you a stare
> of accusation; Masturbating with your little sister's Tickle Me Elmo
> doll...

> These add up on God's great score card. Unfortunately, those with high
> scores go to HELL!

> Send your burdens back to Hell where they belong!

Oh Glenn Beck...go away