It didn't take an abundance of intellectual thought to accomplish this pinnacle of music for the concept, but then again, the franchise and its target audience aren't that musically sophisticated to begin with. But with creative attentiveness to audience expectations, Lennertz really did manage to write the best Twilight score for those who would appreciate it the most. It takes the contemporary, electric-guitar tones of Carter Burwell's original, incorporates the piano lyricism of Alexandre Desplat's sequel, and wraps them in the morbidly orchestral environment of Howard Shore's entry. Its constructs and instrumentation are wickedly appropriate for the topic, and much of this material could be tracked into the real thing without much audience unrest. It does have a downside, however, and it relates to an underpowered sound of the Hungarian orchestral players (especially compared to Debbie Wiseman's all-time favorite vampire spoof score, Lesbian Vampire Killers) and the need for dissonant stingers all the time to accompany sudden punch lines and funny shocks. Despite the deficiencies relating to the ensemble's depth, Lennertz and his crew do a good job of orchestrating the score and spreading its various sounds well enough in the mix to give the final result satisfying texture and attention to detail. The piano is in the forefront (as with Desplat) and electric guitar is used as a sound effect much like in Meet the Spartans. Little electronic whisps, xylophone, and cymbals join the ultra-cliche female vocalist in conveying a sense of wonder and fantasy. Acoustic guitar, contemporary percussive loops, enhanced electric bass, and lighter electric guitar performances lend a sense of coolness to the score. Solo string elements, seemingly electric at times, give the atmosphere a sense of demonic influence. Banging chimes and expansive brass represent the finality of young "Becca"'s choices. The thematic identities in Vampires Suck are dominated by its primary idea (presumably for Becca), stated early and often in many different guises. It receives fully symphonic force right off the bat in "What Would You Do?" and is reprised with even more gravity in "Becca Meets the Family" and "I'm a Killer." In the second half of the latter cue and in "First Kiss," "The Breakup," "Frank Comforts Becca," and "The Final Bite," Lennertz boils the theme down to solo piano backed by lush strings, guitar, or solo violin. While the expressions of this theme may not be as technically impressive as Desplat's music for the same concept, they are more easily digestible. A few secondary thematic elements meander through the score, led by a massive brass representation of the vampires in "What Would You Do?," "Race to Prom," and "Edward Exposed" and a softer idea on piano for Jacob in "Jacob's Crush."

With these ingredients, Lennertz offers a score that will sound similar to enthusiasts of Meet the Spartans, but with its two personalities largely divided between the front and back halves of the score. After the opening volley of action, Lennertz's lighter material for character flirtations and contemplations is extremely attractive, the piano and female vocals both alluring in the most simplistic sense. A soothingly flowing romantic motif/rhythm inhabits these early portions, best heard in "Chemistry in Class." The latter half of "Meet the Sullens," "Chemistry in Class," and parts of "I'm a Killer" (among others) present the female vocal solos in a manner even more beautiful that in Meet the Spartans or Lesbian Vampire Killers, taking the eeriness of the later two Scream scores' equivalents and putting an Enya-like spin on them. For comedic melodrama, Lennertz makes the crescendos of harmony in "First Kiss" and "The Breakup" seem to indicate cataclysmic events. The second half of the score contains the action, and this is where Lennertz's material becomes a bit generic and underpowered. Many of these cues would have sounded great had they been afforded the resounding depth that Wiseman was able to record for Lesbian Vampire Killers, because many of them have to rely upon brute force rather than instrumental colors. Group choral accents are surprisingly infrequent, especially after being featured prominently in the opening cue. Still, despite failing to retain as much interest as the romantic side of the score, the sustained action and stinger portions are adequate. As to be expected, perhaps, there are a few nuggets and in-jokes contained in the score that are worth mentioning. Lennertz references his theme to Meet the Spartans (intentionally or not) at about 0:22 into "Something Strange..." and, far more prominently, he uses "Sleepwalking" as a blatant parody of John Williams' Hedwig theme from the Harry Potter franchise. He spends an entire minute playing with the waltz-set progressions of the theme before outwardly expressing it on solo violin. Hints of this idea extend into the opening moments of "I'm a Killer," a good summary track of all the score's major thematic styles and a likely candidate to be nominated for an award as the best single cue of 2010. Also summarizing the score well is the album's conclusion, "The Final Bite," which leaves you with a whimsical restatement of the title theme and farewells from the all the pertinent solo elements. Overall, Lennertz reprises his superior parody skills for Vampires Suck and not only adds yet another guilty pleasure to film music collections (this time on a deserved commercial offering from Lakeshore Records) but also does what Carter Burwell, Alexandre Desplat, and Howard Shore have all failed to do: create the perfect sound for The Twilight Saga. And it once again proves that today's parody scores definitely don't suck.  ****   @Amazon.com: CD or Download